The One With The Piglet

Got some requests for a repeat of this one and since I’m trying to finish a big chapter today I decided to go for it … (Don’t miss the giveaway at the end…)

Okay so we all know strange things tend to happen to me. But what happened yesterday pretty much takes the cake.

I was walking up the trail with Ashes (our old lady, who’s since gone to the big rainbow in the sky), like I do every single day, when all of a sudden I hear a snort. Not a growl, or a hiss, both of which are fairly common for me and tend to turn me into an Olympic speed sprinter, but a snort. Curious, I pulled off my sunglasses and looked at the strange big thing standing at the top of the trail.

From far away it looked like one of those cow statues in downtown Chicago. Bright white and black and very still.

But then the statue moved. Uh oh. I didn’t have my good camera, or my glasses, but something made me whip out my cell phone and take a pic so I could scroll in and see what I was dealing with.

As I did this, the thing started grunting some more and began running towards me.

Can you say holy shit?

I looked down at my phone and blinked in disbelief, then back up at the creature heading towards me, all the while registering that Ashes was not in any way freaked out but acting as if her long lost lover had come to visit, complete with happy ass wriggle and wide grin.

Yes, she grins.

Here’s what I saw:

A pig. It was a fat, adorable, friendly, sweet BIG ASS pig running towards me, and I’m not quite fluent in pig grunts but I think he was saying “oh thank God, a human, I’m lost, can you please be my new best friend? Oh and do you have any food?”

I sent the pic of the pig on my phone to Alpha Man’s phone. I didn’t call because he was grouting tile and I’d already called and interrupted him three times and the last time he asked me very nicely not to call him anymore unless it was an emergency.

He called me immediately. “What the hell?”

Me: Isn’t he adorable?

Him: Tell me you are not bringing a pig home.

Me: Okay I won’t tell you.

A long beat of silence. “Jill, where did that pig come from?”

Me: Well, the pig daddy and the pig mommy fell in love, and then they–

You don’t really want to know what he said to that, or the ensuing conversation, which involved a lot of me saying “he’s so cute and sad and lonely” and him saying “we cannot keep a pig in our house” and me making all sorts of promises that I had no intention of keeping, but then some lady showed up in the woods for her long lost pig.

Only in my world.

p.s. don’t forget ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE is out right now waiting for you.
p.s.s. giving away a copy of my upcoming LOST AND FOUND SISTERS to a random commenter!

Crazy Town

So the other morning I was jerked out of deep sleep by a huge BOOM. I looked around, confused as the boom was followed by a weird rolling sensation. It felt like an earthquake. But … not quite. Alpha Man had left a half an hour before for his daily swim. I’d gotten out of the early exercise by telling him I was going to go for a hike with the dogs.

I totally lied. Unless you count dreaming about a hike…

Anyway, the boom. Youngest hadn’t even rolled over. But the dogs … the dogs were worked up, whining and frenetic to get outside. I shoved my feet into my Sorrels, which are big old winter boots for those of you who don’t live in the Arctic. Yes, I made quite a vision in my pj’s (tank and bootie shorts) and winter boots. I walked all the way around the house, thinking that what I’d heard was a tree falling and hitting the roof.

No tree.

Confused (not a new state for me), I went back to bed with my laptop to work. I checked the US Geological Survey. No seismic activity, so it hadn’t been an earthquake. And that’s when the news reports started rolling in. Rumor was that the Sierras had been hit by a meteor shower.

A meteor shower.

Only in Jill’s world, right? But no authority or agency stepped forward to confirm or deny. So I’m left with no choice but to decide that it’s an alien invasion cover up …

Today’s page…

What I’m up to:

Spence, still crouched low and easily balanced on the balls of his feet, dropped to his knees and pulled her up to hers. Brushing the hair from her forehead, he eyed the spot where they’d connected. “You okay?”

She started to say yes but his gaze slid to her mouth and she lost her train of thought, instead licking her suddenly dry lips.

Spence, watching the movement avidly, let out a rough breath. “Colbie,” he said quietly, in a very serious, very low octave that sounded like pure sex.

She stood up. “Y-yes?”

Also standing, he slid his hands up her arms, giving her a very slow tug, almost as if expecting resistance.

There was no resistance. Hell, she nearly took a flying leap at him.

He laughed softly, sending a bolt of heat through her. Her knees wobbled and his arm wrapped around her waist, steadying her. Their gazes locked and they both froze in place, she from a sudden rush of emotions, Spence probably from watching them play out across her face. She once again started to say something—still had no idea what—but was silenced by his hot mouth covering hers.

Yes was her only coherent thought and she pressed up against him as he angled his head, taking the kiss even deeper.

from CHASING CHRISTMAS EVE. :bye: You feeling it? What do we think? Preorder here.

Things I know:

1 As soon as I go to take a nap, the phone will ring
2 Cookies consumed standing up in the kitchen don’t have calories
3 When the light turns yellow, it means go faster
4. The more money I spend on sunglasses, the faster they get lost
5 The smoke alarm doesn’t make a great oven timer

What do you know?

I’m not sure I’m flattered…

So Alpha Man and Youngest and I were at breakfast yesterday morning at a quiet little cafe, watching the world go by. And it occurred to us that the people with dogs … well, let’s just say that the dogs tended to look and act like their owners.

Which prompted the conversation: if you were a dog, what kind of dog would you be?

We decided Alpha Man would be a German Shepard. Tough, impenetrable and loyal to a fault.

We decided Youngest would be a St. Bernard. Sweet, kind, loving, warm … and just a little bit lazy. 🙄

We decided Middle would be a Pitbull. All bark, some bite, and also tough and loyal.

We decided Oldest would be a Doberman. Tough, badass, smart.

And then we turned to me. Alpha Man and Youngest looked at me for the longest time while I waited impatiently. “Well?” I finally demanded.

“A cat,” they said at the same time.

Apparently, I’d be a cat. 👿

How about you??

Happy Hump Day

So. I’ve had a crush on The Rock for … well, forever. And I have to say…

The man still has it going on. I think he might have to go in a book sometime soon. Which makes him Today’s Pretend Boyfriend and Today’s Writing Inspiration all in one. B-) Giving away your choice of my backlist to three commenters!