May 30, 2014

Conversations

Middle:
I’ll be in the library.

Me:
Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?

Middle:
Oh and I need twenty bucks.

Me:
Ah, there you are…

++++++++

Me:
So if I upgrade to U-verse I’ll get a faster internet?

AT&T:
Yes you will be paying for a faster internet.

Me:
Wait. I get that I’ll be paying for it, but will I actually GET it?

AT&T:
Yes. Soon as we put U-verse in your area.

Head thunk.

+++++++

Me:
I’m going to need you to relinquish your stash of M&Ms pronto.

Alpha Man:
You made me promise to never ever ever relinquish them into your possession.

Me:
It’s an emergency.

Alpha Man:
You said you’d say that, and I was to hold firm.

Me:
Hold firm and die.

Alpha Man:

Me:
WHAT? Just say it.

Alpha Man:
I can’t. Last time I asked if it was that time of month you put it on your blog and everyone thought I was a dumbass.

Me:
I wouldn’t read my blog tomorrow if I was you.


Comments

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  1. You make me laugh! Happy Friday!

  2. I think it would be a real hoot to live with you…no wonder your books are so much fun.

    Ya’ll have a light-hearted weekend.

  3. Thank you for a great laugh. Hope your day is truly awesome!

  4. LOL

    Your family is just too funny!

  5. Thanks for the laughs…. TGIF!!

  6. lol so so funny!

  7. Thanks for the morning laugh! Have a great weekend!

  8. Love your blog!!! I always crack up :)

  9. Ohhh, you’re too funny. Thanks for this!!! Have a nice weekend!

  10. Thank you Ms. Jill for the wonderful Friday laughs! Love you and your family convos!

  11. “Hold firm and die” You make me literally LOL

  12. All conversations I, too, have had with my family. Good to know we are abnormal.

  13. Lmao.. your funny… I love to read your blog! Makes ne laugh when I’m having a bad day.. :)

  14. You are all funny :-)

  15. Funny, have to love Alpha man!

  16. A few years ago when my husband was in the hospital I was having trouble with my internet connection with AT&T. I would call and call without any results. Finally I tried to get UVERSE just to get someone to look at it. The technician determined when they upgraded their systems it was no longer compatible with the wiring in my apartment building. So I tried to get a refund. The supervisor gave me two months credit but told me I should have cancelled it. Another head banging experience.

  17. Love your family interactions and Alpha Man might as well realize that he’s not gonna win. Just hand over the candy!

  18. lol

  19. Thanks for the laughs. I love your books and can always count on laugh-out-loud moments when I read them.

  20. Alpha Man is adorable! Love these silly conversational glimpses into your life. No wonder your books are filled with such warmth and humor.

  21. LMAO!! Especially with the last conversation. :-) Would it help Alpha Male to know he’s not the only man that asks that??

    Have a great weekend!!!

  22. Always a smile

  23. You are so funny & keep us laughing even when your back is hurting. Thank you for thinking of us always. Hope you are hurting less & have a good weekend.

  24. LOVE IT! That’s the thing about Alpha Men – They just keep stepping into it.

  25. Things teens never say:

    Could I have a hug mom?
    May I pay for that?
    Let me do that for you mom.
    What can I do for you today mom?
    I found some money I didn’t know I had, here you can have it.
    I need some advice.
    My friends and I are going to the movies, wanna come along?
    Want to hang out with me?

    Thought you’d appreciate these, Jill.

    • eerie it’s like your in my house!

  26. You are the best!!

  27. Good luck on the MRI, I hate those things too. I just close my eyes and pretend I’m on a beach somewhere with Hugh Jackman.

    My man expects me to know where all his stuff is too, even though I’m not the one who last put it down somewhere. Teens also seem to expect us to be omniscient. Part of the job of being a mom I guess. I can’t even locate my stuff half the time. My youngest has the habit of blaming “Bob” for everything. I have yet to meet this mysterious “Bob”.

  28. Ha Ha Ha!! Too funny. You seem to have a fun family and despite it all close knit. Have a good weekend!

  29. Thanks for always making my day with your Lucy moments and great tales of family life…

  30. Awww poor Alpha Man!!! He’s trying so hard to do as you instructed but honey you are NOT making it for him.. :) Thanks for the laugh. I can just picture the look on his face..

  31. You just crack me up, Jill!! Thanks for brightening up my morning!

  32. I love your family! And yes, I had the EXACT same conversation with AT&T…grrr…..

  33. THANKS for the smiles, Jill!!!

  34. I enjoy your blog got a good laugh.Family is our greatest joy and pain.

  35. Not reading your blog each day, is like not starting the day with a pot of tea… It always kick starts my day.. thanks for the great laugh.

  36. I am a print girl Jill. waiting as long as I have to to get an ereader.

  37. Way to hold strong Alpha Man!! LOL, that was really funny!

  38. You now have the hubs waiting each morning to see what is in your blog! Thanks for the laughs.

  39. You have an awesome life! You’re hilarious!

  40. Awesome Family!

  41. I love your blogs, they brighten my day.

  42. LMAO! Gotta love Alpha man! Best laugh I’ve had all week! Thanks!

  43. Whoops – I tried to submit before I typed anything???!!!

    I love you and your family dynamics!!! Have a great weekend.

  44. Time for a book about real conversations… Should be great” hope your MRI went well.

  45. Love the conversation between your hubby and yourself over the M&M’s. LOL

  46. That is just awesome! Thank you for sharing. I needed that laugh today!

  47. You always make me laugh! How you can be funny while in pain is beyond me!

  48. I can totally understand because M&M’s are my ultimate favorite! Poor Alpha Man!! LOL!!

    • Now that they’re made in dark chocolate.

      It’s a womans healthy food, in my creative mind.

  49. your blog today makes me laugh and smile so big!!

  50. Love it! Thanks I needed that laugh, tell your husband that he’s a brave man, lol.

  51. Thanks for the smile! I think I heard that a smile gets more oxygen to the brain?

  52. Hubby used to tell my boys that the wicked witch was possessing me during that time of the month, worked until one of the boys told me he didn’t have to listen since I wasn’t really mom and was a wicked witch instead.

  53. Between middle and alpha man you are having a rough week. LOL

  54. Alpha man is a keeper!

  55. Thanks for the laugh Jill. Since I have been reading your books for a long time by now you know that your humor is what keeps me coming back for each book. You are such a talent.

    Have a great weekend.

    By the way AT&T ticked me off enough a little over a year ago so I switched to another company. This is a local company that has great service & in over a year no problems or glitches! An advantage to living in a more populated area. Oh yea, when you call them a real, live person answers the phone then transfers you to the person that can help you. Like I said, great service.

  56. Wish I lived near you. You would brighten my day everyday. I agree with the commentators, your Alpha Man is definitely a keeper. Feel sorry for him because men will never understand how a woman’s mind works.

  57. In between your book releases, I get my laughs from posts like this!

  58. So funny. Men are totally clueless sometimes. I also had AT&T tell me the same thing. They build it up and then give you the bad news.

  59. Thank you for the laugh!

  60. ROFLMAO!!!

  61. Poor Alpha Man.

  62. To funny. By the way we have U-verse and love it. It was a lot of trouble at first but once they got it straighten out its been wonderful.

  63. hillarious, i love it!

  64. The last reminded me of an incident from last week…
    Middle (f): (Throwing up in toilet)
    Youngest (m): (Looks on) Are you sick?
    Middle: *incoherent grumble
    Youngest: Do you have the flu? Are you contagious?
    Middle: No! I’m on my period!

    Youngest: (long pause, confusion all over his face) And that makes you throw up?
    Middle: (demonic voice) YESSSS!

    Youngest had the look of sheer panic as he hightailed it back into his room.
    I couldn’t help but try to smother a laugh & pretend I never even heard/saw the interaction.

  65. So cute. Even your commenters make me smile. Thank for always picking me up and brighting all our days.

  66. Oh, that was the best!! I love the little conversations you post :)

  67. I love all your posts! Thanks for the laughs!

  68. You are one awesome, Jill! I love reading your blog and post. They make me smile and/or laugh :-)

  69. Hi Jill,

    Yes, I do like to see pictures. Helps my wild imagination….

    And, poor Alpha Man.

    Have a wonderful Monday!
    G

  70. Just recently discovered you and feel like I found a treasure! You make me laugh and to me it is really one of the best gifts a person can recieve. Thanks so much, I look forward to many years of laughter with you!!!

  71. When I need a laugh I come here. You never disappoint.

  72. Thanks for the laugh—I needed it.

  73. I LOVE your books, but I don’t like waiting for a new one. Can you write faster? lol I wish the cover pictures were as good as the one you posted of the good doctor. The cover photo is not hot! I have to disregard and use my imagination.

  74. Hey Jill, how are you feeling? I feel so bad for you, back problems are the worst. It sucks getting old. Sigh

  75. BWAHAHAHA! thanks for the laughs :) <3 <3 <3

  76. M&M Blog was hilarious Jill.

  77. Tell Alpha Man I don’t think he’s a dumbass, he seems like a great guy.

  78. Ha! Ha! Now that I’ve giggled, I’m hoping you’ll choose me as one of your five winners!

  79. Oh Jill, You are just so REAL. You always make me laugh out loud and I am always sharing your comments with other women folk. There may be what is referred to as “the good ol’ boys club”; but I think women have that beat because we can ALL commisserate with one another because there are so many universal things/ideas/physicalities that women have that we all understand what one another has to deal with, if you get what I am trying to say. I am having a hard time getting out what I want to say.
    Anyway, thanks again for all the laughter and love (both in you BLOG and in your books). :)

  80. Love those!!!!!! I did in fact “Laugh Out Loud”!! Keep ‘um coming!!

  81. The dumbass comment made me laugh out loud!

  82. I absolutely love the Animal Magnetism series with my favorite so far being Dell and Jade.

    Please keep publishing the photos.

    I found one of your Animal books on a table of giveaways, took it to read and have been hooked ever since.

  83. moi: Where you going?

    youngest daughter: Why are you always in my business? Oh, btw….I need ‘the’ credit card.

    moi: I need to use it today.

    yd: For what? Why?

    moi: You’re always in my business. ;)

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