May 27, 2014

Alpha Man Meets I Love Lucy

So normally in this house I’m the I Love Lucy. I lose things. I lock myself out. I forget things. I get lost.

And Alpha Man finds my stuff, saves me, unforgets everything I forget, and paints lines on trees so I can find my way home.

Until a week ago.

A week ago Alpha Man lost his iPad. Except he insisted it had been stolen. Even though I have him on my Find My Friends app, which showed his dot in this house. So I kept telling him he’d lost his iPad somewhere in the house or the car.

He said I was full of it. And also that the app “was wrong”.

He is, after all, called Alpha Man for a reason, and that reason is largely stubbornness.

ANYWAY, days go by. His dot remains. I make him search the house and the car and the truck. Three times. Nothing. So I finally felt sorry for him because he was missing playing Candy Crush and maybe a little bit driving me crazy and I also searched the house and the car and the truck. No go. I actually started to believe maybe he was right. Maybe the iPad was stolen by aliens who float above our house and play Candy Crush with his iPad…

Then Oldest and The Boy came home for the weekend. And Alpha Man went into the My iPad Was Stolen speech, and while he was right in the middle of it, Oldest Facetime’d his iPad.

And … someone answered. Oldest started screaming “the perp is in the house, the perp is in the house!!!!” while we all stared down at her phone screen, waiting for Facetime to reveal the perp, which turned out to be …

Her boyfriend. He’d gone on a hunt for the iPad and had found it in the vehicle. In like two seconds.

I’m so happy. I’m no longer the only I Love Lucy in the house!!!!! But don’t tell that to Alpha Man. He’s still pretty sure it was stolen and he was somehow set up…

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64 Responses | TrackBack URL | Comments Feed

  1. Hee-hee! Even Alpha guys have their moments!

  2. That needs to be written into the plot of a book or something…

  3. I love it, there is a saying in our house ask Mom I can usually find everything “LOST”. Good to know he is fallible right?

  4. Men, ha…never wrong! Let’s help them ‘save face’ while we continually find their ‘stolen’ stuff.

    P.S. ALL mailboxes in my neighborhood are encased in a brick structure that are exactly alike…so I still count them to make sure I find my house. (it’s been nine years) So don’t feel bad. I guess there’s a little bit of ‘Lucy’ in all of us.

  5. It’s always a landmark day when they are in the wrong…

  6. LOLLOLOLOL!!! That definitely needs to be in one of your books!!! Once again, you have provided me with a wonderful laugh to start my day!!! Thanks ever so much!!! :)

  7. I’m laughing so hard right now LOL

  8. Does that mean The Boy is a new Alpha Man? :-D

  9. that stuff happens to my step dad and i love when that happens to him!

  10. That was my husband. We had a thing to buzz and one on his keys that would buzzed till he found them. Best thing I bought as he lost them daily.

  11. Thank you for the laugh! Sure, he was wrong, but he didn’t admit it, did he? Such an Alpha Man!

  12. Lol! That story just made my morning :) We go through that with a missing phone at least monthly, and it’s usually what did I do with his phone!

  13. OMG! lol! “the perp is in the house”!

  14. Glad he’s providing you with some good material for a book :)

  15. The best part of all this Ms. Jill…”The perp is in the house, the perp is in the house!”

    I love your Oldest!

  16. This is too funny, Jill! Love your blog.

  17. A. Man Never admits he is wrong

  18. LOL, it’s so good when it happens to someone else :D

  19. Good morning,

    Poor Alpha Man. I hope he’s getting his Candy Crush on!

  20. I know how he felt. I misplaced my glasses and could not find them. Had to have a new pair made. 3 weeks later I found them. In the eyeglass case! Since I can see without them they are always on my face or with in arms reach. Never use the case which is why I hadn’t looked there.

  21. I have to call my husbands cell phone all the time so he can find it.

  22. lol so funny!

  23. Great story. I hope your back is feeling better. Happy Tuesday & have a great week.

  24. Too funny. Great story. LOL

  25. Have I told you lately that I love this family? There is always something funny happening around there :-)

  26. great story to wake me up!

  27. Ok, almost snorted out my tea…..I love your family….

  28. Now thats funny…so happy he has his i-pad..and thanks for always making us laugh…have a great day :)

  29. Every time my hubby misplaces something and I find it, he insists that it is because I am the one who stole it and hid it from him! He won’t admit that he just couldn’t find it :)

  30. I am always so relieved when the mr does something like this. You know–so I’m not the only one.

  31. Love the antics that go on in your family!! Thanks for sharing!

  32. Good one! it’s kinda like those plastic bags multiplying themselves in the closet, and wondering how did so many crawl under the door, i only didn’t bring my reusable grocery bags once er, twice maybe, hmmm.


  33. That is too funny. Happy to know life can get back to normal for all of you.

  34. FUN story!!!! I loved it!

  35. I thought all men were stubborn about something. My son-in-law believes all breakfast food should be eaten at breakfast. No bowl of cereal for lunch or dinner when he is home.

  36. Lol! Too funny! I agree with the other’s. This DEFINITELY needs to happen to one of the upcoming Lucky Harbor heroes.

  37. I can just see Alpha Man ranting and raving though out the house shouting that his iPad was stolen and no need to search the house or the vehicles. Of course, deep down he is embarrassed that he was wrong and follows kitty logic. Kitty logic is ignoring any embarrassing situations like jumping and missing the window sill or any flat surface in the house. Kitty sits down and starts grooming to show nothing happened.

  38. Fabulous story. My husband loves to do the “Someone stole it.” routine as well.

  39. OMG, that is hilarious! In our house, the hubs now answers, “Yes, I looked on the ceiling!” Invariably, it is where it’s supposed to be — if I’ve put it away, anyway. :>)

  40. I love this story. When my hubby loses something it is always my fault. Lol!

    My hubby would have said “Why did you hide it in my car?” Again….Lol

  41. Guess it must be contagious and Alpha Man has caught it. LOL Glad that he found his Ipad!!

  42. No wonder you come up with such great ideas for novels – you live them! Thanks for a good Tuesday pick me up!

  43. I love it. So funny.


  45. “I will put this where I can find it!” are words that make me shutter when my husband says this! I always tell him to tell me where he is putting it so we have a slim chance of finding it!

  46. Hilarious… a good laugh for my day. :-)

  47. Nice to know the “stolen” was found!! Thanks for another great “Shalvis family” story. You can’t possibly make this stuff up!!

    Have a great day. I hope your back is doing better.

  48. Yikes, it’s contagious.

  49. This is why I absolutely LOVE your writing!

  50. We need beepers on all of our things. This is an I Love Lucy family.

  51. I grew up with a brother that could be looking straight at the lost item and still not see it! Whenever my daughter or granddaughter can’t find something and share that they looked, I called them by his name and went to look myepself. I usually found the items.

  52. Hahaha I needed that. And an Alpha Man, but I digress.

  53. Mr. L used to lose his keys all the time. I put a key rack next to the door and that is the only place I will “look” for lost keys. I think he has determined my lady parts have special tracking abilities as I am always finding lost items for him around the house.

  54. Thanks so much for this, it made me laugh. I’m definitely like Alpha Man, each time a lose something I’ll say someone stole it. I make my brother look me in the eye and swear that he didn’t take it. I usually find it in some nook and cranny that I stuff the lost item in… but really, someone stole it lol

  55. If you’re Lucy…wouldn’t that make him Ethel Man? *snicker*

  56. so how much does Alpha Man pop up in your books? I’ll be watching for this incident in a future tome!

  57. I couldn’t find my iPad anywhere a few days ago and was starting to suspicion that one of my kids must have put it somewhere random when it occurred to me to try the “Find my iPad” thing. I have an iPhone, so I just opened the app and told it to make my iPad to play a sound. It made noise until I found it … tucked in to the bookshelf … I’m fairly sure that wasn’t me, but not 100%, which is just sad.

  58. What a hoot!!! :D

  59. OH! I can totally relate! I bought a small item in an antique store about 10 miles from where we live. My A-man likes to look for “finds”. We were there the other day and I mentioned I bought this item there. He said “No, you didn’t. You bought it in this other city.” (Which is like 3 hrs away). I said, “No, you’re wrong.” He says “Show me where you bought it.” I took him right to the store and the same place I found it. And even seeing it with his own eye…..he still insists I’m wrong. Men! ;-)

  60. Funny, Andy winners

  61. I would always find my son’s phone when it is missing. It would be under the seat in the car. Guys don’t look too hard.

  62. I always say unless the item is screaming, “Here I am!” they can never find anything!

  63. So funny! At least Alpha Man blamed the aliens. In my house I get blamed for everything my husband looses. This happens on a daily basis. My favorite is when I’m out of town and he misplaces something, he then says I put it some place before I left. After 30 years of marriage, I take it with a grain of salt. Whatever

  64. OMG! OMG!! OMG!!! This needs a photo! Too funny :D

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