January 31, 2013 | Filed under: Stuff
From three years ago. I’m posting it in light of the fact that I can’t find my cell phone. Figured I should remind us all what happened to my last one…
So I had to get a new phone because my old phone broke. I LOVE my new phone, itís so pretty and shiny, and oh the tricks it can do! I have it set on vibrate because I hate the sound of a telephone ringing, and Ö donít judge me Ö have it stuffed in my bra when I donít have a handy pocket.
I canít really explain that one, sorry.
So the other day I was shoveling the deck free of the bazillion feet of snow, bundled up from head to toe, probably looking like the Pillsbury Dough Boy, with only my eyes exposed because it was zero. Let me repeat that.
Zero. As in donít let your nose run because it will freeze zero degrees.
Okay, back to my story. I was diligently working on the deck when Alpha Man came out behind me. And let me just break and say that for some reason, he gets a kick out of me doing certain things like shoveling snow or loading wood for the gas stove. No idea why, except probably itís amusing to watch me attempt to get the snow flung up and over the snow bank since Iím like 3 feet tall, and probably itís funny to watch me jump around and throw the wood and dance like a loon when I find a spider lurking Ö
ANYWAY, I was just minding my own business, shoveling away, and maybe singing very loudly off key to the iPod in my pocket when suddenly Iím swooped up into the air and spun around in circles and Ė Michael Jackson alert Ė held over the deck railing. I screamed bloody murder and Alpha Man laughed like Ö well, like a husband who has just successfully terrorized his wife. I swear to you, Iím cutting him off from the WWE. But this wasnít my biggest problem as I was being flung around in circles, and then held over the deck railing. Nope that honor belonged to Ö
My NEW beautiful wonderful phone flying out of my bra and down the thirty feet to the ground below, sinking into the snow berm.
Probably you can imagine the, ahem, debate this caused. Me blaming my near death experience of being spun around, and him blaming my phone being in a place no phone should be. Iím fairly certain this is all his fault. Letís be honest, ALL fights are all his fault.
Anyway, I am taking a poll. Whose stupidity caused the loss of a brand new phone. Me and my bra, or Alpha Man and his need to wrestle whatever moves. Go.