Yet another I Love Lucy story
January 11, 2013 | Filed under: Stuff
And I really mean TGIF. Had an MRI yesterday. I have a herniated disk that’s pinching the nerve running down my right leg. This means I look like a gimp when I walk and am facing a constant cramping in my thigh and shin. I can’t sit or lie still. So imagine my panic over having to lie still for an MRI.
The tech was so nice. He put me on the table and covered my eyes with a towel. “Picture yourself in a very large tube,” he said. “You have plenty of room. Pretend you’re on a beach and I’ll pipe you in some music and talk to you. No worries.”
Famous last words.
He rolled me into the machine. I kept my eyes shut tight. Big tube, I told myself. Better yet, I’m on a beach and Ranger and Roarke are about to feed me cookies…”
The machine started and my sweet tech told me I was doing great. He gave me a minute to shift and get comfortable. Since my leg was cramping, I lifted my hand to run my thigh and … hit the top of the tube. THE VERY TINY COFFIN-LINE TUBE. A very loud alarm went off that I took to mean STUPID PATIENT DIDN’T FOLLOW DIRECTIONS.
The tech told me to lie still then but you know what? Game over. Neither Roarke nor Ranger would have LIED TO ME. “Out,” I managed.
He pulled me out and asked me if I was okay. Hell no was I okay. “How much longer in there?” I gasped.
“Thirty minutes at least.”
Oh good Lord. Then he asked me if I was going to be okay. Well hell if I could admit the truth. So I let him roll me back into my coffin. Longest. Thirty. Minutes. Of. My. Life.
To the tech’s credit, he talked me through the whole thing. He told me stories, piped in some good music, and best yet he pretended not to noticed that I was a half hysterical mess when he pulled me back out again. I take back that he wasn’t as good as Ranger or Roarke. And if I hadn’t been shaking like a leaf and sweaty as hell afterwards, I might have even hugged and kissed him.
So Mr. Tech Guy? Whoever you are? You are today’s hero.
(Oh and after the MRI I picked a fight and then Alpha Man went thru the papers that came w/ my meds and I hear “ah ha!”. Apparently a side affect is mood swings. Good to know I have an excuse…)
Anyway, how about you? Ever make a fool of yourself? Don’t leave me out here hanging all by my lonesome.