November 13, 2012

Best Of

Okay so we all know strange things tend to happen to me. But what happened yesterday pretty much takes the cake.

I was walking up the trail with Ashes, like I do every single day, when all of a sudden I hear a snort. Not a growl, or a hiss, both of which are fairly common for me and tend to turn me into an Olympic speed sprinter, but a snort. Curious, I pulled off my sunglasses and looked at the strange big thing standing at the top of the trail.

From far away it looked like one of those cow statues in downtown Chicago. Bright white and black and very still.

But then the statue moved. Uh oh. I didn’t have my good camera, or my glasses, but something made me whip out my cell phone and take a pic so I could scroll in and see what I was dealing with.

As I did this, the thing started grunting some more and began running towards me.

Can you say holy shit?

I looked down at my phone and blinked in disbelief, then back up at the creature heading towards me, all the while registering that Ashes was not in any way freaked out but acting as if her long lost lover had come to visit, complete with happy ass wriggle and wide grin.

Yes, she grins.

Here’s what I saw:

A pig. It was a fat, adorable, friendly, sweet BIG ASS pig running towards me, and I’m not quite fluent in pig grunts but I think he was saying “oh thank God, a human, I’m lost, can you please be my new best friend? Oh and do you have any food?”

I sent the pic of the pig on my phone to Alpha Man’s phone. I didn’t call because he was grouting tile and I’d already called and interrupted him three times and the last time he asked me very nicely not to call him anymore unless it was an emergency.

He called me immediately. “What the hell?”

Me: Isn’t he adorable?

Him: Tell me you are not bringing a pig home.

Me: Okay I won’t tell you.

A long beat of silence. “Jill, where did that pig come from?”

Me: Well, the pig daddy and the pig mommy fell in love, and then they–

You don’t really want to know what he said to that, or the ensuing conversation, which involved a lot of me saying “he’s so cute and sad and lonely” and him saying “we cannot keep a pig in our house” and me making all sorts of promises that I had no intention of keeping, but then some lady showed up in the woods for her long lost pig.

Only in my world.

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41 Responses | TrackBack URL | Comments Feed

  1. You must be cutting your deadline really…REALLY close, because I believe we saw this piggy before. I’m not complaining…keep writing…I won’t say another word…I love your books way too much :grin:

  2. I loved it then, and I love it now! I think weird things happened to me, but then I found you… ;-)

  3. Oink!

  4. He was adorable! Did Kristan see the picture – she was probably thinking “bacon”!

  5. Very cute… but then again I’m guessing strange events might be part of your life… Just like writing fantastic books are.

  6. Ok so that was interesting. But at least you tried to bring home a new friend for Ashes. :smile: I bet you run into a lot of weird things up there on those trails. Maybe another sweet pig will come your way and you can take him home! :)

  7. OMG! Reminds me of the day I looked out my front door and saw a steer. I live in a small village of 400 in a rural area but still we don’t have cows running around! There is a grain elevator around the corner and a farmer lost his steer when he stopped for feed. I called dear daughter away at her first year at college and she really thought I lost my empty nester marbles.

  8. you NEVER fail to make us laugh! Hopefully thee little piggy cries wee wee wee all the way home! :lol:

  9. Jill, you make me laugh. I would have thought the same thing as I’m near sighted and piggy wouldn’t have been clear to me either.
    This had all the markings of a Steven King novel. I’m glad the little oinker was friendly.

  10. Loved the conversation with Alpha, I can hear similar ones with my So glad the owner found her lost piggy. ;-)

  11. After a rough start to my day, I had to keep from lmao so my boss wouldn’t hear me reading your dialogue!

    Just read one of your books for the first time yesterday. Simply Irresistable was great. It kept me laughing and a smile on my face all day. It also hit close to home for me on more than one level. Can’t wait to read the next one. (Going back to library today) :grin:

  12. thanks for a good laugh this morning!!

  13. I went to get the mail one day & saw something at the neighbors across the road. I thought it was a new dog black like the big one but just a bit bigger than the brown one. It was a pig! I’ve seen it once in awhile all summer. Here’s the guy walking across his lawn followed by two year old boy, black dog, brown dog, and black pig. I NEVER hv my camera or ph when it is running around.

  14. you make me feel normal! :lol:

  15. Love your pig story! When you first described the pig I was afraid you were about to have an encounter with a wild boar! The pictures are so cute…

  16. Love this story! :lol: I’m always dragging animals home and having these types of conversations with my husband which usually end with him threatening to divorce me which of course never happens! :grin: :smile:

  17. :lol: you and alpha man crack me up

  18. You guys are priceless. Think about doing one of those credit card commercials

  19. Oh my gosh that pig is to cute, and thanks for the laugh this morning

  20. Thanks for the giggles. You’ve just made my day.

  21. I’d love to spend a day with you. I’m pretty sure it would be interesting and full of laughs but never dull or boring.

  22. Thanks love it

  23. This is something that would so happen to my daughter. She would have probably found a way to keep the pig!

  24. Thanks Jill I needed this today!!

  25. That’s hilarious!!! Not something you expect to run into in the woods!!!

  26. Around here you might have to be careful of the wild pigs! They do not tend to be friendly! Luckily they are out where you might take a hike not near homes!! Well, usually not near homes!! When I lived in a nearby town I did see them down by the creek near us!!!!!

    Thanks for keeping us entertained with your blog & books.

  27. I remember the pig too! Is he the same one – or is another one? ;-) Caroline x

  28. @ MaryAnne, thank you :razz: !!! I thought I was suffering from deja vu :shock: or I was completely losing my mind when I read this because I KNOW I had read this before :!: Thank you for ensuring me that I am not losing what is left of my sanity :lol:

  29. My youngest daughter loves pigs. She has begged and begged for one for years! She would so try to bring him home!

  30. He is soo cute! I want one- do they fit into tiny NYC apartments?

  31. How funny! I loved that Alpha Man called back immediately. I think you sceered him. LOL

  32. Only you would have an encounter like that!! I’m still laughing!! Which by the way I badly needed after my long day of teaching, or attempting to teach, high school juniors math. I loved your conversation with Alpha man. My dh would have had a cow. :-) :razz:

  33. You NEVER fail to make my day! I count always count on you for a laugh

  34. Is that pig wearing a belt? BTW now you know what to (threaten to)get Alpha Man for Christmas. :mrgreen:

  35. What a cute post Jill and a big oink to you!

  36. I just what makes you think we don’t want to hear what Alpha Man had to say….LOL!

  37. LOL Thanks for the giggles! :mrgreen:

  38. Aww so cute lol your husband sounds like a trip cuz I know my dad would just flip a bitch if my mom ever jokingly mentioned bringing home a pig or if me or my sister ever did when we were little kids.

  39. They make great pets- loved your response to husband, where he came from. Have fun :razz:

  40. I love reading your blog and your comments on FB, they give me a good laugh! The kind that send my kids in asking “What’s so funny?” lol. Thank you for that! :grin:

  41. Your posts on Facebook are my favorites every day…would love to be a winner sometime! ;-)

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