November 6, 2009 | Filed under: Stuff
7:05 a.m.
Sit on couch, open laptop. There’s a spider on the wall. Close laptop and go back to bed.
8:00 a.m.
I’m back. Spider is gone. Not good news. Where did it go? Is it planning its attack? Can’t possibly work while under siege. Go for hike.
10:02 a.m.
Once again on couch with laptop. I spy spider on far wall above the wood stack by the wood stove. I write with one eye on the spider.
11:00 a.m.
I wake up the lazy ass cat and try to get her to stalk and kill spider. She insists the chore is beneath her.
12:00 p.m.
Lunch. Dessert. Come back to couch. Spider is on the move, and so am I. I run screaming from the room.
1:00 p.m.
Alpha Man shows up for spider extraction. Spider can’t be found. Bastard. Alpha Man leaves.
1:03 p.m.
Spider is back. Alpha Man refuses to answer his phone.
1:05 p.m.
Cookies do not help.
2:00 p.m.
Back to typing on couch while watching spider make himself at home on wood pile. I’m pretty sure he’s flipping me off.
2:30 p.m.
Youngest comes home. Refuses to kill spider. Damn tree hugger.
3:00 p.m.
Cat is suddenly interested in spider. She drops it to floor and then loses interest. Walks away. Spider comes toward me.
4:00 p.m.
Still sitting outside, where I am now locked out. Note to self: next time you go screaming out the front door, make sure it’s unlocked first.
5:00 p.m.
Look in window and see Ashes eating spider. Good girl. Can you let mommy in please?
5:30 p.m.
Alpha Man comes home with Taco Bell. I decide to forgive him.
Posted by Jill @ 1:00 am | Make a Comment
RKCharron says:
Hi Jill
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 1:03 amI adore this post!
“pretty sure he’s flipping me off”
HAHAHAHAHA
I’m still grinning & I had to read the whole post twice.
Thank you for sharing.
Love & Best Wishes,
RKCharron
xoxo
Judy F says:
Glad you have Ashes to depend on…
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 3:54 amStacy ~ says:
Just another day in the life. Ashes is my hero and deserves a serious reward for that manuveur.
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 4:09 amKim says:
ROTFL! (I’m almost spewing my chai latte here….)
I have three cats, none of whom seem willing to eat the spiders in my house.
I admit that one of the very few things I miss about being married (or having a live-in) is someone else to take care of the bugs. So I have to suck it up and do it myself at home.
At work is another matter. There I *do* run screaming and let someone else take care of the “enormous” spiders-on-steroids.
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 5:32 amArkansasCyndi says:
Hey! How did you get a camera into my house to record my daily page output?
Very funny
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 5:56 amJoyceZ says:
I don’t kill spiders either. That’s why I married my husband. He’s the spider killer. (He also murders flies, wasps, moths, etc.) This was all in the marriage contract.
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 6:07 amNatasha R says:
haha! Someone had an eventful day
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 6:24 amAmber says:
“Still sitting outside, where I am now locked out. Note to self: next time you go screaming out the front door, make sure it’s unlocked first.”
I broke two toes last year running into a locked door! (I’m always tripping or running into something though)
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 6:26 amAmy M says:
I hate spiders! Thank goodness for my 9 year old son, he just catches all the little buggers and sets them outside. If I even holler for someone else to get the damn spider, he is not having any of that. Honestly, just get the spider out!
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Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 6:35 amtennismom says:
Only you could make mundane everyday events hilarious.
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 6:50 amThanks for a great start to my day.
Liza says:
My friend’s cat use to eat the body of the spider and leave the legs. At least it was dead. I really hate spiders too, but might trade a spider for the mouse that is still somewhere in my apt building. I now have at least 3 traps in my house, but none of them have closed up on the mouse yet. Pray it happens soon.
BTW, Taco Bell is always a good reason to forgive Alpha Man.
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 7:22 amAshley says:
Lol, you need to keep your house key on a necklace or something, you are always locking yourself out!!
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 7:42 amCelise says:
ROFL. The spiders must be huge in your neck of the woods. Our cat prefers birds to bugs. LOL
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 8:20 amD says:
That was priceless. You make me sound calm and rational. I’m going to make hubby read your blog, maybe he’ll rethink calling me a wimpy. Our cats like to play with the spiders and bugs(go figure)
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 8:55 amlimecello says:
Awwee
great post- and that dratted spider!
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 9:23 amI have to kill my own bugs usually – but that’s what the vacuum with attachments is for.
Of course then I’m paranoid it’ll crawl out/free, but that’s still better than it wandering out in the open.
Brandy says:
Too funny! With eight cats in our home at least one of them will torture and then dispatch the spider. *G*
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 1:36 pmNicole S says:
I do the trick with my cat, have him eat the bugs. He’s such a good cat because he does
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 2:23 pmgena says:
Was it a wolf spider? I’m glad I wasn’t there. There would have been a lot more girlie screaming.
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 2:54 pmDonna M says:
I learned the hard way not to leave the house without making sure I could get back in!!
You have such an interesting life to share with us!
Everyone have a great weekend.
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 3:12 pmBailey Stewart says:
Oh God I needed this laugh! Thanks!!!
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 3:27 pmChelsea B. says:
Ugh. Spiders. I just had to have surgery because I was bitten by one. Not fun
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 5:46 pmCasee says:
There was a spider in the shower when I turned it on this morning. I fully admit that I gave a little girly scream.
I locked myself out of the house on Wednesday. The only difference was it was in the morning, I was in my pajamas and my coffee was inside. I need to put a cookie and chip stash in the garage.
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 5:46 pmLisa in California says:
Good Ashes! Eating the spider is kinda gross, but at least it was gone.
Posted on November 6th, 2009 at 8:45 pmDiane W says:
A couple of years ago I started having an exterminator come twice a year (Spring and Fall) to spray for spiders. It really helps keep the population under control. I also keep multiple cans of what I like to call “super-spider-spray” in strategic locations around the house for those hearty souls that are able to breach the perimeter. Sneaky bastards are then flushed down the toilet so there is no chance of them crawling out of the trash can.
Posted on November 7th, 2009 at 1:31 amPat L. says:
Are you feeling better?
Posted on November 8th, 2009 at 7:26 pmPattiH says:
Oh man, thanks so much for that! Good thing I finished my coffee first, or it would be all over my lap right now!
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Posted on November 19th, 2009 at 3:03 pm