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How NOT To Cure Boredom

October 5, 2009 | Filed under: Stuff

Not too long ago my baby turned fifteen.

Fifteen.

Of course I had her when I was twelve, so …

Okay, I wasn’t twelve. But I was VERY young. Ahem. Back to the story I’m trying to tell. She was my third pregnancy, and I didn’t intend to have three kids. Hell, I didn’t intend to have any kids as young as I did, but I had finally figured out what caused the problem. It was Alpha Man. Every time he passed me in the hallway I got pregnant.

ANYWAY. We were living in Los Angeles, the land of the HOT HOT HOT. It was early December and I was tired of the HOT HOT HOT. So we drove up to Lake Tahoe to visit Alpha Man’s uncle. Thing is, having been raised in LA, we had no idea what we were in for. It was like two degrees outside, and it got dark at four in the afternoon, and David’s uncle was a heat fascist. He wouldn’t let us turn on the heat.

I’ve never been so frozen in my life.

Or bored.

Several weeks later, back in LA, sometime between Christmas and New Year’s, I came to the realization that throwing up every morning like clockwork might mean something. A pea in the pod something …

Thunk.

Shortly after New Years, we got a belated Christmas card from Alpha Man’s uncle. In the card was a deck of cards and a condom. The note read: The next time you’re bored, try using one of these.

I’d say that I still haven’t forgiven him but it’s hard to begrudge the situation when out of the deal I got the sweetest, most laid-back, easy-going baby of all time. And it’s funny, but she never seems to mind the cold …

Posted by Jill @ 1:00 am | Make a Comment  

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  1. Judy F says:

    Cute Story…Alpha man’s uncle sounds like a riot

  2. Stacy ~ says:

    I don’t know…being that kinda bored doesn’t sound so bad ;) Love that Christmas card LOL.

  3. Kathrin says:

    Alpha Man’s uncle sounds a bit like my uncle… He made me bet with him – that I was going to be pregnant before my 25th birthday. Well, of course I won and got the 50 Euros :roll:
    But hey, you got your baby out of it, this really sounds like a good deal ;-)

  4. Liza says:

    I’m with Stacy, that kinda bored doesn’t sound so bad. ;-) I’m sure Youngest loves you sharing this story will all of us.

  5. D says:

    I’m with the others, sounds like my kinda bored..poor youngest, that story will follow her forever(lol)

  6. Donna M says:

    Great story. A person has to have some way of keeping warm! Keeping warm gave you youngest, how can you complain?!! :lol: Speaking of cold, did you get snow over the weekend?

  7. Ashley says:

    Too cute! Love the belated Christmas card!! Have you already started teaching your girls to play cards when they are bored? lol

  8. Brandy says:

    To funny! Alpha Man’s Uncle sounds like a hoot! *G*

  9. Tracy S says:

    That card was hilarious!

    I was born in April (so conceived in July) and my mom always jokes, “It was a hot, steamy night and the TV was broken. . .” :razz:

  10. tennismom mary g says:

    LOL. I think by the third one parents are more relaxed or too busy to fret. My friend Jayne swears her third one thought his name was “just a minute”.

  11. Diana says:

    That is pretty funny about the cards and condom.

  12. Booklover1335 says:

    Can I just tell you how much i enjoy your blog :) I love it and look forward to reading whatever you post every morning (or in the case today evening).

    I love it just as much as your books. Until tomorrow….

  13. Nicole S says:

    I like he uncle’s card, too funny.

  14. Karin says:

    LOL

    Alpha Man’s uncle sounds like a character. ;-)

  15. Why You Should And Shouldn’t Use An Electric Blanket | Sleep Disorders Solutions says:

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