How NOT To Cure Boredom
October 5, 2009 | Filed under: Stuff
Not too long ago my baby turned fifteen.
Fifteen.
Of course I had her when I was twelve, so …
Okay, I wasn’t twelve. But I was VERY young. Ahem. Back to the story I’m trying to tell. She was my third pregnancy, and I didn’t intend to have three kids. Hell, I didn’t intend to have any kids as young as I did, but I had finally figured out what caused the problem. It was Alpha Man. Every time he passed me in the hallway I got pregnant.
ANYWAY. We were living in Los Angeles, the land of the HOT HOT HOT. It was early December and I was tired of the HOT HOT HOT. So we drove up to Lake Tahoe to visit Alpha Man’s uncle. Thing is, having been raised in LA, we had no idea what we were in for. It was like two degrees outside, and it got dark at four in the afternoon, and David’s uncle was a heat fascist. He wouldn’t let us turn on the heat.
I’ve never been so frozen in my life.
Or bored.
Several weeks later, back in LA, sometime between Christmas and New Year’s, I came to the realization that throwing up every morning like clockwork might mean something. A pea in the pod something …
Thunk.
Shortly after New Years, we got a belated Christmas card from Alpha Man’s uncle. In the card was a deck of cards and a condom. The note read: The next time you’re bored, try using one of these.
I’d say that I still haven’t forgiven him but it’s hard to begrudge the situation when out of the deal I got the sweetest, most laid-back, easy-going baby of all time. And it’s funny, but she never seems to mind the cold …
Posted by Jill @ 1:00 am | Make a Comment
Judy F says:
Cute Story…Alpha man’s uncle sounds like a riot
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 2:36 amStacy ~ says:
I don’t know…being that kinda bored doesn’t sound so bad
Love that Christmas card LOL.
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 3:16 amKathrin says:
Alpha Man’s uncle sounds a bit like my uncle… He made me bet with him – that I was going to be pregnant before my 25th birthday. Well, of course I won and got the 50 Euros
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 3:37 amBut hey, you got your baby out of it, this really sounds like a good deal
Liza says:
I’m with Stacy, that kinda bored doesn’t sound so bad.
I’m sure Youngest loves you sharing this story will all of us.
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 5:25 amD says:
I’m with the others, sounds like my kinda bored..poor youngest, that story will follow her forever(lol)
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 6:44 amDonna M says:
Great story. A person has to have some way of keeping warm! Keeping warm gave you youngest, how can you complain?!!
Speaking of cold, did you get snow over the weekend?
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 10:27 amAshley says:
Too cute! Love the belated Christmas card!! Have you already started teaching your girls to play cards when they are bored? lol
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 12:16 pmBrandy says:
To funny! Alpha Man’s Uncle sounds like a hoot! *G*
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 1:36 pmTracy S says:
That card was hilarious!
I was born in April (so conceived in July) and my mom always jokes, “It was a hot, steamy night and the TV was broken. . .”
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 2:19 pmtennismom mary g says:
LOL. I think by the third one parents are more relaxed or too busy to fret. My friend Jayne swears her third one thought his name was “just a minute”.
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 4:50 pmDiana says:
That is pretty funny about the cards and condom.
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 6:02 pmBooklover1335 says:
Can I just tell you how much i enjoy your blog
I love it and look forward to reading whatever you post every morning (or in the case today evening).
I love it just as much as your books. Until tomorrow….
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 6:44 pmNicole S says:
I like he uncle’s card, too funny.
Posted on October 5th, 2009 at 7:42 pmKarin says:
LOL
Alpha Man’s uncle sounds like a character.
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