Some mysterious questions for the universe
September 16, 2009 | Filed under: Stuff
1. When a teenager gets their tonsils taken out, why does only the teenager get the pain meds? I really think the percocet should have been prescribed for me.
2. Why am I the only one who finds herself in the bathroom with no toilet paper? I’m sorry, it happens every single time, so this CAN’T BE A COINCIDENCE.
3. And in that same vein, why am I the one who pours her cereal and then goes for the milk only to find ONE tablespoon left in the container?
4. Also, when a kid is sick, why does she cry for “MOM!” and not dad?
5. Why does the dog come to me when she has to go out? There are usually at least six people in this house. By sheer odds, I should be summoned only every sixth time and yet the dog comes to me and only me.
6. Why when I get in the car is it always on empty?
7. And lastly, where does the phone always vanish to? Because when it rings, it’s never in it’s cradle, forcing me to run through the house like a crazed person trying to get to it in four rings. Which, by the way, never happens. And if by some miracle, I do find it in time, you can bet it’s not charged.
So that’s all. My questions for the universe. How about you?
Posted by Jill @ 1:00 am | Make a Comment
Judy F says:
Why is it that you have your heart set on wearing something then you realize its in the laundry?
Or why during the week you could sleep all day but on the weekends when you can sleep in you wake up early?
Why is it that when you have big weekend plans you are either sick or the weather sucks?
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 2:32 amStacy ~ says:
Why do you always have a good hair day just before getting it cut?
Why do you hit green lights when you’re not in a hurry but all red lights when you’re running late?
That’s all I’ve got right now…
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 3:36 amKim says:
Why is it when you leave work early on a Friday, public transit is running late and it takes 2 hours to go 5kms (that’s 3 miles)? It takes 52 to 55 minutes to walk, by the way, which I do, often. Because there’s a universal law that states when Kim is tired and thinks the bus will be faster, it’s actually going to be transit hell.
Why is it my cats want out into my enclosed cat-safe yard just when I’m sitting down to eat? After I’ve stood at the patio door for five minutes waiting for them to decide?
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 4:20 amLiza says:
Why doesn’t all the healthy food taste as good as junk food?
Why is there only a spider in my car when I’m driving down the interstate at 60 miles an hour and can’t kill it?(thought I was going to wreck my car on the way to work…never did kill it)
Why does food always taste better if someone else makes it even when I fix it the same way?
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 5:48 amtennismom says:
Yeah, the toilet paper thing. I live with a son & hubby with engineering minds who never have to read intructions to put stuff together but they cannot put the new roll in. It will be on the counter in reach but that’s it. I want to know why when we’re just hitting the ball on the tennis court & we are making unbelieveable shots but as soon as we start keeping score we play like beginners. Most common thing you’ll hear us say: “Should’ve saved that shot for the game.”
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 5:49 amAng says:
Why does the cat take a stinky dump just after you put the lid on the CLEAN litter box (which resides in your home office and thus the whole office stinks)?
Why is it that only Mom/Honey knows where everyone elses shoes (or any other items) were left? You know “Mom/Honey where is my….?”
Why does the phone ALWAYS ring while I am in the shower and just as I get the shampoo in my hair?
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 5:52 amJulia says:
Why is it that the more extra time I have to get ready, the more late I become?
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 6:38 amAshley says:
Why does the phone always ring/my husband want to show me something on the computer after I’ve layed down on the couch and gotten really comfy and situated my throw just the way I want it?
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 6:52 amWhy does my son always decide he wants to go outside to play when it’s getting dark and I’ve been hounding him all afternoon about going outside before I have to start supper?
Allie says:
I want to know why UPS does not just DELIVER my package when they have it. Instead, they keep it an extra day. Even though they sent another one out to me that same day. I mean, they had them both right there at the same time…
Why, when I find the Perfect New Recipe, do I not have any ingredients for it except flour? By the time I get from the store it would be too late to make whatever it is, and when I next look at it, it is no longer the Perfect New Recipe. Instead, I have a new Perfect New Recipe, and the only ingredient listed that I have is sugar.
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 7:26 amDru says:
Why is it that when you’ve been waiting an hour for the bus to come and you decide to walk that the bus passes you by?
Why is it you watch local trains go by on the local tracks and when you decide to get on it, here comes the express train?
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 7:46 amPatricia says:
I can relate to almost all of those. Good luck to tonsil-less daughter, & you. (Is this the one at UCLA?)
My adult son, who owns his home, when living at home & driving my car, ALWAYS left it w/just a smidgen of gas. So many discussions by me said, “there may be an emergency where it HAS to have a full supply”. 2 years ago, at 6AM, he calls me saying, “I can’t breath & need to go to the ER”. I say, “call 911″, but, he won’t: doesn’t want to go to his local hospital, which is not as good as the one in my town. So, I jump into clothes, with my heart pounding, try to drive just over the speed limit, then, pick him up & take him to my closest ER. Tests show he has had a minor MI & needs immediate angioplasty. NOW, he knows that “moms are always right”.
Good thoughts for teenager’s healing, & mom’s breathing a sigh of relief.
Patricia
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 10:19 amBrandy says:
Why is it on days where you need every bit of energy you can take, your body laughs at you? And WHY DOES no one but me ever remember to put a fresh roll of tissue paper on the holder? Why, when you’ve bought all the ingredients to make a nice dinner, do you suddenly crave a burger? Why do bookstores never have the book I’m looking for in stock?
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 11:56 amPeri Craig says:
I had four (count ‘em, FOUR) teenagers getting tonsils out on the same day. 13, 14, 15 & 18. And the older ones were FAR more traumatic … no, not traumatized, traumatic! For me! Its been nearly four years and I STILL have boxes of jello around here!
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 1:13 pmKarin says:
Good questions, Jill. I second almost all of them.
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 3:20 pmShana says:
Why do the weeks seem sooooo long? And the weekends fly by?
Why is always sunny during the week when your stuck at work, and sunny on weekends when you’re off?
Why do you say something to a teenager and it is completly stupid and wrong, but if another parent says it to them it is A OKAY!!!
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 3:41 pmPatricia says:
Jill, One more thought. I have a home phone that has a speaker phone that you can use if the hand-held phone is not in its cradle (which is a lot of the time). You might consider this purchase….
Patricia
Posted on September 16th, 2009 at 7:55 pmAmy M says:
So funny, and so true!
Why is it that even though dad is home at the end of the day standing in the kitchen, do the kids holler for me to get them something to eat or drink? (they are small 10, 8, 5 and 3)
Why is it that I am the only person how knows how to change the toilet paper roll?
Why is it that I am the only one who can see that the house is a mess and does not need someone to tell me what to clean up?
Then again, why is it that when I am so grouchy and being a real pain in the ass, does my hubby hug me and just say that he loves me and that I can get out of the house and he will take care of the kids?
Posted on September 17th, 2009 at 5:25 amsls-rainey says:
Ha ha – Why is my dog so well behaved when we are away and a terror when there are no witnesses?
Why do they always get my orders wrong at the drive thru? Why is the order messed up the worst when I am very hungry?
Posted on September 17th, 2009 at 7:47 amJL says:
How is it possible for three children, ages 3 and 18 months, to already know the principle of “divide and conquer” when there’s only one adult at home?
And why is that adult always me?
And why, 17 months later, do they still employ that when I’m hobbling around with a cane and can barely walk, let alone run?
And why does my oldest cat never bury her poop? I understand that only timid cats do that in the wild, but this is our house, not the wild, even though with three kids 4 and under it’s probably close most days. Does she really need to be THAT intimidating to the other cats?
Posted on October 12th, 2009 at 7:37 pm