More I Love Lucy, Jill-style
March 24, 2009 | Filed under: Stuff
This past weekend it was just me and Oldest. The rest of the gang — Alpha Man, Youngest and Middle — hit the road for a basketball tournament. My plan was to use the two days to polish my book. Oldest’s plan was to sleep. It’d been in the sixties, so we’d spent a day on the snow in the yard in beach chairs pretending we were in the Bahamas. Good times.
Then we woke up Sunday to two feet of fresh powder, the high of the day … 25.
Thunk.
That was the sound of my head hitting my desk. Alpha Man was gone and I had no one to blow the snow off the driveway. So I put my big girl panties on and faced the Evil snowblower. Evil because I’ve NEVER not once managed to start the monster on my own. It hates me. Alpha Man has given me 536,892 lessons on how to run it, not a single one has taken. I turn the key, set the choke, and yank on the string thingie and it NEVER starts. No matter how many times I pull and yell and swear.
Then a good friend came by and dragged my sorry ass out for a ski. I say my sorry ass because I’ve been WORKING INSANELY trying to get this book finished by 4/1. While we’re out, Laura teases me about the driveway not being done. Because let’s face it, when Alpha Man is here, it’s ALWAYS done.
“He’s out of town isn’t he?” she asked, laughing.
“No, he’s being lazy.”
“He’s so out of town.”
“Yeah. He’s out of town.”
Laura just shook her head. When we got back to my house, she got out with me. “I’m going to do the driveway,” she said.
“You are? I love you, Laura!”
“Oh, it’s not for you,” she said. “It’s for Alpha Man. He does a lot for me and I want to pay him back.” She walked over to the EVIL SNOWBLOWER, turned the key, set the choke, and pulled the string thingie …
And it started right up.
Bastard. EVIL bastard. Laura turned to me like what is the problem here, and I just shook my head. Clearly, the problem is ME. I gestured for her to move over. I could do this now that she had it started. Really, I could. I pulled in the lever and the thing shot ahead five feet and ran over our two snow shovels and broke them both.
Laura raised a brow. “Want me to take over?”
“Please.” I went inside and did what I do best. Ate cookies.
Posted by Jill @ 1:00 am | Make a Comment
Judy F says:
I am glad you have keepers.. I mean Friends. LOL I worry
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 3:05 amStacy ~ says:
Laura is an angel. Tell her we love her too, for helping out Alpha Man. Glad you have someone like her to watch over you when Alpha Man is outta town. (It might be why the house is still stading *g*).
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 3:32 amAng says:
Sounds like a nice weekend…except the additional 2 feet of snow…Does the evil snowblower do that to Oldest? I would have been mean and made her do the snowblowing…
Thank goodness for great friends 
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 4:38 amCindy says:
Oh my goodness, is that funny. If it makes you feel better it was in the 60′s here this weekend and I had no serious activities to tend to with the boys…..and I still managed to eat a sleeve of Thin Mints.
At least you got your winter gear on and braved the cold. That has to account for something, right?!
Cindy in VA
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 4:39 amMelinda says:
Very funny. You made my day. : )
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 6:01 amMelissa says:
Oh Jill…lolololol….I love it when you start off my day at work with a good laugh!!!
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 6:53 amDiane W says:
Now ‘fess up, Jill. When Alpha Man and the girls came home, did you take credit for the snow removal or did Laura get her just dues?
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 6:54 amAshley says:
Wow, Laura’s a real trooper, it’s hard to find friends like that.
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 7:27 amsls-rainey says:
Is Laura the same friend who rescued you at McDonalds? If so you so owe her BIG!
Cool friend that knows you, oh so well.
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 7:36 amSarah says:
I can’t imagine adding “shoveling snow” to my list of household chores — I’m doing good to get my children off to school with their lunches and glasses every day!
To make you feel better, here’s a Lucy move from my friend this week — she destroyed her garage door by leaving the back hatch of her minivan open. $600. She says “at least my husband doesn’t get upset about accidental stuff like this.”
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 7:39 amGotta be the only husband like that I’ve ever heard of!
trish c says:
Don’t feel bad Jill. We used to have a lawnmower that would only start if my son pulled the string. I couldn’t do it and neither could my poor embarrassed husband!!!
Great story!!
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 7:56 amtrish c says:
p.s. did you know the Edy’s makes girl scout cookies thin mint ice cream??? It is a limited edition. So go get it now. Absolutely takes just like the cookies!!
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 7:57 amVictoria says:
I so needed a good story this morning. Thanks!
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 8:16 amErika says:
OMG! This is hilarious and one of the top reasons I live in Phoenix, where it doesn’t snow…ever.
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 9:32 amcatslady says:
It’s a good thing we have a level driveway. My husband bought one of those things thinking it would get him out of shoveling and I’d do it instead (we had two daughters so forget them too lol). Pretty much neither of us does it unless he has to shovel himself out. We’re also lucky our winters in PA haven’t been too bad.
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 10:57 amBrandy says:
I have a couple of appliances that don’t like me, either. Don’t feel too bad. *G*
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 11:11 amKarin says:
Jill, you have some of the best stories. Too bad most of them come about because machines hate you.
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 11:17 amcheryl c. says:
Oh, Jill, you have the best stories! But seriously, it needs to stop snowing where you live! It is spring now!
Since we all like contemporaries here, I wanted to let everyone know that Dear Author and SBTB are having a Save the Contemporary Campaign. They are giving away copies of Lisa Kleypas’ Smooth Talking Stranger.
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 11:34 amSusan says:
I know how you feel! That is what our snowmobile did to me for years, this was before they had electric starters.
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 11:54 amDonna M says:
Sounds like that snowblower is out to get you!
Glad your friend Laura was able to help. Thank heavens there is no snow here to worry about!!
I can’t wait to hear more about the book you are working on. Enjoy your time with Oldest. May you have smooth writing on your book.
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 12:17 pmLiza says:
Thanks for the laugh Jill! I really needed it today after spending 8 hours yesterday converting software and another 8 today. Now I need cookies and a nap.
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 2:08 pmlimecello says:
Awe… I can never get those motor things started either, Jill. Sometimes you have to do it a few times before it takes. I think I’ve only managed it once in my life. It has to be the perfect equation of strength, speed… and I swear reach. So, I’m not the hugest person ever – and the last one is what gets me.
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 6:17 pmOr, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Angie G. says:
Thank goodness for friends like Laura!
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 7:00 pmd says:
Be thankful you can’t ever get it started, hubby might expect the drive cleared if you get a a heavy snowfall while he’s away!!!! I always say go with your strengths. Besides the time you spend trying to do that takes away from better use of yur time…writing, eating cookies and my favorite NAPPING!!!
Posted on March 24th, 2009 at 7:01 pmSarah says:
As far as thin mint ice cream — a fabulous place here actually uses the Girl Scout Thin Mints crushed up in theirs! WOW, I’ve had it too many times!!
Posted on March 25th, 2009 at 8:11 pm