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Teenagers are like crack.  Just say no.

February 9, 2009 | Filed under: Stuff

On Friday I was halfway to Middle’s basketball game, when I put a hand on my hair, realizing I’d forgotten to brush it. It was a day where I’d been rushing around since the moment I’d gotten out of bed twenty minutes late to the sound of a puking kitty, so I wasn’t too surprised. “I forgot to comb my hair.”

Middle looked at it, her expression one hundred percent pure Alpha Man as she tucked her tongue into her cheek. “That happens to you a lot, Mom.”

I sighed. “Does anyone have a hair tie?” I took one from Youngest and at the next light, I contained my mop of hair that was currently masquerading as a squirrel’s tail. I looked in the rear view mirror. “Super.”

Middle and Youngest exchanged a look.

“What?” I asked. “That’s not an acceptable word?”

This produced gales of laughter and shakes of their head.

I really hate this teenage phase, the one where I know nothing and they know everything. Where I’m as uncool as it gets.

Teenagers suck. And that was my professional opinion for the day. Until after the game when my daughter came flying out of the locker room, passed by all the cute boys and threw herself into my arms for a victory hug and kiss. Later one of the other moms came up to me and said wistfully, “how do I get to be a cool mom like you?”

After laughing my ass off, I took my kids home and thought maybe teenagers don’t suck so bad after all.

Posted by Jill @ 1:00 am | Make a Comment  

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  1. Judy F says:

    ah the joys of teenagers. Enjoy the hugs and kisses when you get them.

  2. Melinda says:

    I love that.

  3. Dee says:

    I love this post! I have a 17 year old and a 12 year old. The 17 year old thinks I am The World’s Biggest Idiot, unless she has a booboo!

  4. Liza says:

    Enjoy the hugs and kisses. My 14 year old niece was at my house over the weekend, and I finally got a hug and an I love you from her when she left my house. It made my day yesterday.

  5. april says:

    Isn’t it like a lottery? Do my kids like me today? YAY! No? I’ll just wait until tomorrow (or five minutes from now).

    My parents rarely embarrassed me. As for saying words thta are passe, I tend to make my words up. I like to say Supertastic. It can’t be cool or uncool because it’s not real. That said, my 15 month old daughter gave me lip the other day so I’m sure I have quite the road ahead. I couldn’t understand her, but I know that tone.

  6. Christina T. says:

    I don’t have teenagers yet (8 and 6), but sometimes the 8yr. old gives her dad a look like, OMG please do not embarrass me.

    Jill: I just finished Instant Attraction and totally loved it!!!! Can’t wait for the next bbok!!!

  7. KZA says:

    What an awesome post! My 11-year-old (going-on-15 or regressing-to-age-8, depending on the circumstances) has started down this unpredictable road…and I’m already not cool from time to time. Of course, it doesn’t help that DH and I reminisce about life in the 80s/90s and groove to Seattle grunge and British punk/new wave fairly often. Whenever we do, she rolls her eyes, mutters something under her breath (dorks? I’m not sure, but I think that’s what she’s saying) and leaves the room…but not before she looks over her shoulder, smirk on her face, to catch one more glimpse of us making idiots out of ourselves. I might be uncool, but I can make her laugh!

  8. Ashley says:

    That’s a great story, you really are a cool parent when they acknowledge you in front of the cute boys!
    My son is only 4, so I have a while yet to worry about being uncool and embarrassing him!!
    I find myself saying “totally” and “I know, right” all the time, I’m not sure if this is acceptable lingo with the teenage crowd! My teenage nephew is very fond of the word “random”, everything is “so random” to him these days! lol :blahblah:

  9. Tina says:

    I’m a horrible mother….I tell mine almost daily that if she ever tells me I’m embarrasing her, it’s gonna get 100% worse. I’m hoping to teach her that she can laugh with me instead.

  10. Amy says:

    I think my kids are getting cooler as they get older. I’m not too thrilled when 14 takes Full Teenager for a test drive, but on the whole, he’s a pretty cool kid.

    You really are a cool mom.

  11. Anna says:

    Ashley – My stepson is using “random” too. And “ironic”. Except, the things he’s saying are ironic or random, well….aren’t. I thought he was trying to find a word and using those in place of the proper word, but maybe it’s slang now? Like “bad” or “cool”. I like my explanation better……:D

  12. catslady says:

    kids – you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them :rotfl:

  13. Donna M says:

    Great story! Thank heavens mine are all grown!! One of my grandsons is almost ready to leave being a teenager just as the other is becoming one!! Time keeps marching on.

    Love that your daughter came to give you a big hug in front of all the cute boys!

    I have no idea what is cool & what isn’t!! Maybe that is an age advantage!! :cool: :grin:

  14. Victoria says:

    I don’t have any kids yet but I do have two neices. 6 going on 30 and 4. They still love me. I’ve passed my love for reading on to the 6yo. So we talk about what she’s reading. She has said she hates me in one of her “teenage fits” as I call them. It’ll be crazy when she’s actually one. You probably are a cool mom. Most kids love their mom but are embarrassed to show it. It’s not cool when you’re that age. So it’s cool that your daughter can still show her love especially in front of cute boys! :lol:

  15. sls-rainey says:

    I embarrass myself all the time… :loser: So when I have kids they will just have to live with it. :yes:

    My oldest nephew just shakes his head at me and then we share a grin. Hopefully the others will take their cue from him as they get older. Then they can teach it to my kids. :roll:

  16. trish says:

    My mom remarried and had another batch of kids, giving my twin sister and I siblings that were 12 & 14 years younger.

    We were horrified when our little sister turned into an evil teenager almost overnight. Okay, it wasn’t that big of a shock – we called her the “obnoxious little runt” almost since the day she was born (you have to say it with a clenched jaw to pronounce it properly). The reason we were horrified was because we could remember behaving exactly the same way (apparently we could roll our eyes so hard that you could hear it).

    We cornered our mother in the kitchen one day and asked her if we had been that awful at that age. She paused for a moment and replied, “No, because if you were I would never have had more kids”.

    My little sister is now a lovely young lady in her 20′s. My mother survived with her liver intact and we all (there’s a brother in there too) get along extremely well.

    Neither my twin or I have any children of our own. I wonder why…

  17. Brandy says:

    My 13 year old let me hold her hand when we were out shopping the other day. I think my heart melted for a moment. *G* Those times are when we don’t feel like locking them in their rooms until they’re 30. *G*

  18. Karin says:

    You gotta love it when other parents want advice from you on how to be the ‘cool’ one.

  19. Suzanne says:

    Teenagers always think you’re retarded. But underneath, they love ya!

  20. limecello says:

    Awe, yay you!

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