This is wild, even for me . . .
May 27, 2008 | Filed under: Stuff
Okay so we all know strange things tend to happen to me. But what happened yesterday pretty much takes the cake.
I was walking up the trail with Ashes, like I do every single day, when all of a sudden I hear a snort. Not a growl, or a hiss, both of which are fairly common for me and tend to turn me into an Olympic speed sprinter, but a snort. Curious, I pulled off my sunglasses and looked at the strange big thing standing at the top of the trail.
From far away it looked like one of those cow statues in downtown Chicago. Bright white and black and very still.
But then the statue moved. Uh oh. I didn’t have my good camera, or my glasses, but something made me whip out my cell phone and take a pic so I could scroll in and see what I was dealing with.
As I did this, the thing started grunting some more and began running towards me.
Can you say holy shit?
I looked down at my phone and blinked in disbelief, then back up at the creature heading towards me, all the while registering that Ashes was not in any way freaked out but acting as if her long lost lover had come to visit, complete with happy ass wriggle and wide grin.
Yes, she grins.
Here’s what I saw:
A pig. It was a fat, adorable, friendly, sweet BIG ASS pig running towards me, and I’m not quite fluent in pig grunts but I think he was saying “oh thank God, a human, I’m lost, can you please be my new best friend? Oh and do you have any food?”
I sent the pic of the pig on my phone to Alpha Man’s phone. I didn’t call because he was grouting tile and I’d already called and interrupted him three times and the last time he asked me very nicely not to call him anymore unless it was an emergency.
He called me immediately. “What the hell?”
Me: Isn’t he adorable?
Him: Tell me you are not bringing a pig home.
Me: Okay I won’t tell you.
A long beat of silence. “Jill, where did that pig come from?”
Me: Well, the pig daddy and the pig mommy fell in love, and then they–
You don’t really want to know what he said to that, or the ensuing conversation, which involved a lot of me saying “he’s so cute and sad and lonely” and him saying “we cannot keep a pig in our house” and me making all sorts of promises that I had no intention of keeping, but then some lady showed up in the woods for her long lost pig.
Only in my world.
Posted by Jill @ 1:00 am | Make a Comment
Judy F says:
I think I agree with Alpha Man on this one. I don’t think I do pigs for pets.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 2:39 amStacy ~ says:
Well. Hmm. Sorry that you couldn’t take the cutie pie home with you, but maybe that was for the best. I mean, who’d be responible for bathing him? And I don’t think he’d last long once he found your cookie stash.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 3:19 amMental P Mama says:
That pig is adorable! Never a dull moment with you is there…?
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 5:06 amBailey Stewart says:
Hmmm, yes, cute … sorta. But hey, a new fan! Oh, I don’t suppose he/she reads …
But really Jill, he would have sniffed out your cookies and eaten them all. Really. :yes:
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 5:17 amKim A. says:
Gees, Jill, your world is better than fiction! :rotfl:
That’s a very handsome (pretty?) pig, by the way. And I see that it has some sort of “collar” or harness doohickie on it. Pigs are actually very intelligent and clean animals and can make very good pets — or so I’ve heard.
-Kim
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 5:19 amLaurie says:
Can you say “pork chops”??
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 5:19 amAnn from Montana says:
LOL! – the entire story…
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 5:27 amHolly says:
That is awesome. I’ve always wanted a pig, it would take everything in me to not scoop it up and bring it home with me.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 5:42 amAsthmagirl says:
That is like the cutest pig EVER!
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 5:45 amPat L. says:
I love hearing your stories. They are so amusing. No wonder, you got the funniest blog award. Hands Down. No competition.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 5:56 amSuzanne says:
How cute! Was it a pet pig then?
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 6:04 amAshley says:
It is a cute little pig and they do make good pets, I had a friend once that had one, he thought he was a dog!! He would roll over and beg to have his belly rubbed!! I love the convo with Alpha Man, especially the part about where the pig came from!! :rotfl:
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 6:08 amLiza says:
Cute pig, but I must agree that he would have found your eaten your entire cookie stash. Thanks for the laugh Jill. :rotfl:
BTW, I’m loving Supurb and Sexy! I got the last copy at my Waldenbooks yesterday.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 6:09 amLisa J says:
After your bear story the other day I was afraid of what was snorting. Glad it was a “little” pig crying wee wee wee all the way home!
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 6:39 amMoonlissa says:
My BN’s both said they had Superb and Sexy in stock this weekend, but sadly neither had it on the shelves. My Borders can always be counted on to have books out early
, yet not there either. I finally gave up and paid the $3.99 shipping to get it overnight from Amazon. Now I have to go track the shipping :loser:
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 6:59 amShelly says:
Hey, if George Clooney can live with a pig, who am I to judge?!
….And thank goodness the pig found you and not the growling thing in the hole. The bear would have thought Mother Nature now delivers “long winter’s brunch”!
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 6:59 amJill says:
I’m so glad that those of you who’ve gotten my latest book SUPERB AND SEXY have enjoyed it! Thanks for all the emails, you know how to make an author’s day.
And wasn’t the pig adorable? I didn’t see the leash right away, which gave me a bad moment, but once I did I knew he was a pet. He was so sweet.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 7:15 amAnne says:
OMG… LOL. Seriously :rotfl:
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 7:30 amTreasia Stepp says:
The pig is so cute. Like you at first I would have been scared when I heard the snort. I have to say my hubby would have drawn the line on a pig for a pet.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 7:34 amKarin says:
lol You are right, Jill, only in your world.
I do have a neighbor who has mini-potbelly pigs for pets, though. I see her walking them on occasion.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 9:52 amBig Momma Pimpalishisness says:
Yeah those cute little pigs will get you every time. But then they start rolling in the mud and tracking it all over your house. And the cuteness is over.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 9:59 amSonya says:
Too cute! I know I can count on a funny story every single time I visit your site. Thanks for the laughs!
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 11:39 amAngie says:
You must never leave your house without your camera EVER. Who knows what we would miss? A pig? Crazy!!
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 11:41 amHolly says:
I think he’s adorable! I’ve been trying to talk my DH into getting a pig for months now, but he just looks at me like I’m on glue.
Of course, that might have something to do with the fact that i tell him we should have a pig instead of a baby, but whatever.
Good thing you had your camera with you.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 12:55 pmAmy M says:
That absolutely cracks me up! My husband just shakes his head at our little “mini farm”. We have 4 baby chickens, 2 baby bunnies, a dog, 3 fish and 1 hamster. We live north of Washington, DC on about 3 acres. The place has a barn therefore I thought since I couldn’t go back home to the south, I would just bring the south to me.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 12:55 pmI can’t wait to read Superb and Sexy. Amazon emailed today to say the order had shipped. I preordered it months ago. If I had know I could have had it quicker elsewhere, I would have just gone out to the store. Happy reading everyone.
Heather says:
ROFL…I swear these things only happen to you!
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 1:04 pmjeanne says:
I agree – only you :yes:
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 1:17 pmJill says:
I would like to say I make half this shit up. But seriously, I don’t think you even CAN make half of this up.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 1:37 pmCryna says:
That is the cutest pig – but I can hear the sigh of relief from Alpha Man from here,that the owner came and claimed it, before you brought it home. :rotfl:
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 2:33 pmKaren MEG says:
Hah, my first time to you site and if this is any indicaton, I’ll surely be back! What a cutie pig LOL!
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 3:22 pmMelissa says:
I want a pig for a pet…well, at least until I have to clean up after it…do you suppose it uses a literbox?
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 3:24 pmSusan says:
That pig is such a cutie! Maybe you can get one of his off spring.
Suzanne would be jealous. 
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 3:25 pmBrandy says:
Your life is amazing! Cute pig! *G*
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 5:34 pmMarty says:
MUCH better than the snake Stewie and I saw on our morning walk! Gimme a pig any day!
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 6:00 pmSuzanne says:
That pig is amazing! I would have either started crying or running in the other direction…you are much braver than me!
Jill, please stop by my blog and scroll down the page to my post about ‘finding my mountain home’. I’d like your advice/thoughts about Lake Tahoe/Truckee area?!
Thanks!
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 7:08 pm-suz
annbb says:
That is just wonderful!
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 7:28 pmKate Hardy says:
Jill, I just love how things are in your world. There was me thinking you were about to be chased by a minotaur or something… LOL. Glad you’re all OK. And hey, if Alpha Man says you can’t have the pig, he has to get you cookies to make you feel better, yes?
Posted on May 28th, 2008 at 3:28 amVeronica says:
Oh my word A PIG???
Pigs scare me, I might have had a bad experience when I was a kid. I would have been a wreck.
Posted on May 28th, 2008 at 6:35 amapril says:
OMG, I read this yesterday and laughed! I showed Husband, and before he read the post he said, “no, you can’t have a pig”. Everytime we see something, I ask him if I can have one. This includes, elephants, llamas, almost anything. I loved the dialogue, too. TOTALLY reminds me of something Husband and I would say to each other.
Posted on May 28th, 2008 at 8:17 amapril says:
Oh, I’m an idiot. I meant to add that my bookstore totally stinks (yeah, I sanitized my actual thoughts for the blog). They don’t have any of the May books that I want. I’ll have to go the big chain next week and buy May and June books. GRRRR. Sadly, my bookstore is a big chain, but it’s a small outlet that never gets books in ever. I will say that they are nice and will custom order anything, but I have this instant gratification issue…
Posted on May 28th, 2008 at 8:18 amToni Anderson says:
That is one cute pig!!
Posted on May 28th, 2008 at 2:13 pm