May 21, 2008 | Filed under: Stuff
1. Why do teenager boys walk and hold onto their crotch? Are they worried it’s going to vanish?
2. Why does my washing machine eat only one of a set of socks and never the whole set? I would think two would taste better than one.
3. Why does the cat meow to come in and then when I open the door she just stands on the threshold in indecision?
4. Why do men like to go outside to pee in the woods with the dogs? What is wrong with peeing in the toilet like the upright humans they are? Actually, scratch this one, I’m just jealous I can’t do that.
5. Why do I always get stuck at the train tracks waiting on a SLOW train, no matter what time I try to get into town?
6. Why am I always the one to find the spiders and not Alpha Man, who isn’t terrified of them? (I’m talking to you, Mr. Wolf Spider, hiding out in the mud room waiting for me)
7. Why do the dogs come to me when they have to go out and no one else in this house?
8. Why do kids in trouble always start their stories with “everyone was doing it”. At least give me an inventive reason for your stupidity.
9. Why do the glorious days of spring have to come with so many wasps?
How about you. Any questions for the universe? Observations? Or just want to say hi? Please do, I love each and every comment, you guys make my day, every single day.
Posted by Jill @ 1:00 am | Make a Comment
Stacy ~ says:
Hmmm, Jill, you got me thinking this morning. How about…shy are all the good ones taken? And this could apply to many things: men, seats, houses, biggest piece of chocolate cake.
Why do I still break out like a teenager when I’m in my 30’s? (Must be all those raging hormones
)
Why are there never enough women’s bathrooms???
Why is it 50 degrees and sunny, then 75 degrees and rainy?
Okay, that’s all I got…
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 3:18 amStacy ~ says:
Geez. That should be “why” are all the good ones taken, not “shy”. Duh.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 3:19 amMental P Mama says:
Why does the time seem go faster the older you get? Seriously? I am the epitome of the saying “There aren’t enough hours in a day….”
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 4:26 amMelissa's Cozy Teacup says:
Why does my genius, two Academy award winning husband have to ask me a. how to clean the toilet, and b. what to use to stir the pink lemonade powder into the water? I know the real answer, he just thinks I don’t know eh hopes if he acts dumb enough I’ll give up and come and do it myself, however, grasshopper, patient is the victor in these sorts of situations! mwahahaha!
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 4:36 amMelissa's Cozy Teacup says:
Stacy, bad news, I’m forty and still breaking out!
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 4:37 amWhy does 60 degrees in winter feel so cold but in summer it feels like heaven?
Ann from Montana says:
more bad news…I’m almost 53 and still breaking out
- actually didn’t break out much as a teen or young adult…apparently age, menopause are all conspiring.
AND, I am going off to buy wasp spray, even though I live over 1000 miles away - had wasps last year, so bad that for awhile wasp spray was gone from the shelves of every place that carries it. BTW - I put beer in bowls, glasses, etc. around my porch - they go in and can’t get out and stayed away from me…mostly. Any beer as in the cheapest, not the kind you or AMan LIKE… And I used martini glasses - they couldn’t climb out - drowned in their beer…and it always looked like I was having a party!
I’ve used up my comment “space” and can’t think of a good question…
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 5:14 amKim A. says:
I want to know why some people don’t flush the d*mned toilet in a PUBLIC WASHROOM.
What is that about? You just pull up your pants and forget? You’re trying to conserve water?
Man, I don’t care what people do at home, but it grosses me out to run down the hall to the facilities, only to find some idiot can’t depress a lever.
So I’m asking the Universe why not!
*Deep breath*
Okay, rant over.
-Kim in Ontario
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 5:24 amKim A. says:
P.S. I’m 44 and still break out around during PMS week. Hmmph.
-Kim, who is wishing those eggs would hurry up and all die off soon
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 5:25 amMelissa's Cozy Teacup says:
There are these contraptions you can buy that trap the wasps. They work very well. You put a dab of the queen pheromones on a cotton ball (pheromone comes with the kit, wear gloves, run like hell)the inside of the container lets the wasps crawl in, but they can’t get out. They eventually die.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 5:42 amLiza says:
I have to second why are all the good ones taken and I’m in my mid 30’s and am breaking out more than I ever did as a teen.
Why is there pollen in the air year round? I know in theory this isn’t true, but my allergies tell me it is.
Why does the work week last so long, unless you are on vacation?
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 5:44 amLaurie says:
Why do some of the women who work for the city/county health department (whose offices are in the same building as my office) not wash their hands after using the restroom? These are the same women who hang signs all over the building, including the restroom, about hand washing, influenza prevention, Hep. B prevention and confidential AIDS testing.
Why can’t my daughter who’s graduating college in four weeks STILL not change the toilet paper roll? I evidently failed her as a mother by not being able to reach her on this one - kept waiting for her high school teachers and then college professors to get through, to no avail. I think she has TPADD.
Laurie
(who’s knocking on wood/thankful that she’s not experiencing those middle age breakouts)
PS - Don’t forget the contest on my blog for a treasure from Jill’s backlist!!
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 5:53 amAshley says:
I’m with Kim on the flushing the toilet thing, WHY don’t they???? That’s soo gross.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 6:00 amAnd I second Liza with the pollen, I’m thinking seriously about buying stock in Zyrtec!!
And why oh WHY, can’t a man just go do what you ask of them without 5 million questions and explanations, and I don’t just mean my husband, the men I work with too, it’s just ridiculous, I mean just go do what I asked and get out of my face already!!!
Also, I’m 28 and breaking out now more than ever, just started about a month ago, so apparantly age doesn’t matter, it’s just something we have to live with throughout our entire life, and that sucks!!
Hope everyone has a GREAT Hump Day!!
Dee says:
Why did my car decide to quit right before we leave for vacation? Why does my 16 year old daughter act like I am a total moron? Why does my hair refuse to do anything but look insane? Why is my fridge a place where food goes to die?
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 6:10 amDee
Barbara-Jo says:
Why does it rain on the weekend and is sunny Monday thru Friday? Why as a single woman do I only attract married men? Where are the single men? Jill, I honestly love reading about all your sexy scenes, but I’d really love to live one. Soon!
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 6:17 amHeather Harper says:
#3
I have no idea but I’d love to know.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 7:18 amChrista says:
why does a warrenty on an item that is really expensive to fix expire just before said item breaks
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 7:22 amJill says:
Christa, always. My computer recently died. The day after the warranty expired.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 7:24 amKeeper of the Catnip says:
**In answer to the “break-out” question, two words: Liver Cleanse.
There’s a product by Solaray called Total Cleanse Liver that I covet whenever I feel a doozy welling up. Works.Every.Time… over night, and for all the friends who have used it.** 
Since we trashed them in our alcohol-induced 20-somethings, they are paying us back in folds!
I want to know….
Why can cats hear the can opener from across the house but can’t seem to hear you any other time you call them?
Why is it always windy on really “good hair” days?
Why can’t I ever sleep in on days that I plan to sleep in but can’t get my a** out of bed on any other day?
Why do monthly “bloat days” always fall on days also requiring a bathing suit, but the days you are in top form you don’t see a soul?
Why does the dog always decide to take a dump right in front of the hot guy jogging by (even though you have begged, “Time to take a poopy now good boy” for the 45 minutes prior?
I have a gazillion….these are just the ones that have happened thus far today.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 7:34 amAllie says:
I have one. Why am I sick on my birthday?! Ugh.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 7:35 amKaren Erickson says:
I just wanted to say hi. Oh and let you know I am a little jealous of the peeing outside thing too. My husband has now shown my youngest son the light. Sigh.
Allie I’m sorry you’re sick on your birthday! That’s no fun.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 7:37 amSuzanne says:
I just stick my foot on my kitties’ bottom and push them on through the door, LOL.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 7:56 amBailey Stewart says:
First, sorry about the birthday sickness Allie, I hope you feel well soon so you can enjoy some of your birthday. Happy Birthday!
Suzanne beat me to it - that’s what I used to do (when I had an outdoor cat) - just kick it’s butt on out the door.
And about the acne - I don’t know about you young ones out there, but I was told it was part of the menopause process. Thanks. I never had an acne problem until I hit menopause.
Why is it every time I get some extra money to spend on something for me, a “life experience” thingy happens that costs exactly the amount extra I have. Happens every time.
Oh, and I know where the extra socks go. Just saying.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 8:39 amDru says:
How do boys walk with their pants halfway down their body?
Why do boys who wear said pants think they look good?
Why did I see men wear pants that start at their hips?
How do they keep those pants from falling?
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 8:41 amjean says:
I can’t tell you how many times I ask my husband about #1. Believe me, it isn’t just teenage boys, he does it all the time. I don’t go around holding my boobs so why do they find it necessary to hold their crotch? Is it some sort of insecurity thing? It’s a question without answer.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 9:57 amJill says:
Alpha Man says it’s like a security blanket thing. I still don’t get it.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 10:06 amElizabeth K says:
Simple answer to virtually all these questions: Because They Can.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 10:15 amBrandy says:
All the questions I thought of were asked. Oh, except….WHY do teenage girls HAVE to make their mother’s crazy? I SWEAR I wasn’t this bad.
Hope Allie feels better, and Happy Birthday!
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 11:06 amCelise says:
LOL. I like question #1? Why is that? Really? The only universe question I have is
WHY IN THE HELL DID SOMEONE CREATE WORLD OF WARCRAFT?
God forbid the hubby go one day without playing. He might go thru withdrawal or something.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 11:10 amRobin says:
Hi, Jill! Happy Birthday, Allie - feel better!
I’m thinking about sending my boys outside on a regular basis, because why oh why can’t they make it into the toilet bowl? It’s not a small target.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 11:43 amlimecello says:
Why do gas prices change to quickly? I was running late [as usual] - and passed a gas station - $3.79 - I thought “WOOHOO I can get gas on my way home!” Less than 4 hours later? $3.99. No thank you. And I’m talking about the regular cheap stuff.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 12:32 pmOh I have more. Why do I gain weight so easily? I eat, I gain weight. I don’t eat, I gain weight [there is some great cosmic injustice there.] I truly believe that I breathe, and gain weight.
Lastly… why do bugs have to come inside? Don’t they know their lives will be longer and happier in the great outdoors? I scream, and they run, and then they have to die.
Susan says:
Why is it that you never realize you don’t have all of the ingredients you need until your well into what you’re cooking?
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 12:59 pmShannon McKelden says:
OMG! #7? Same thing at my house!! I can be the farthest person from the door, with 3 other people who are closer to the door than I am, and the dog will come and look at me very pointedly to be let out. Does no one notice this? Or has she just figured out that everyone else is oblivious? Sigh. Must be a mom thing. I sympathize. Truly.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 2:14 pmCryna says:
Why when you get a wrong number do people ask are your sure?
Why when you are late for an appointment do you hit every light red, but when you have a bunch of spare time before the appointment everything is green and you have no stops.
How can gas jump up 6 cents or more overnight but when it comes done it is in 1 cent incriments.
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 3:05 pmCryna says:
Okay the word is “down” not done………..
Not that gas is going to come down anytime soon from what I heard on the radio just a couple of minutes ago 
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 3:07 pmLexi Connor says:
Hi Jill. No questions that I can think of. I just wanted to tell you I ordered The Trouble With Paradise from Amazon and I’m waiting for the box to arrive!!
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 7:08 pmdanni says:
Why do men/boys leave empty boxes and cartons of things in the fridge? What is up with that?
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 7:52 pmAlthough I am only 33, I am going through menopause (hysterectomy when I was 29) and I have never had clearer skin. Maybe it has something to do with going cold turkey on the hormones. Good luck to you ladies going through it the natural way. Hang in there!
Melanie says:
Hey Jill,
Anyone, anyone Beuller? lol
Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 11:43 pmI have one I’d really like the answer to. Why do men chat for like three months online, practically begging to meet me. Persue me till they get what they want. Then not even bother to call me the next day? Why? What’s so hard about picking up a phone? I wonder if its me or them, and why am I in my mid 30’s and still doing this?
(I hope I haven’t offeneded anybody)
JL says:
Why is it that the cat who’s smart enough to figure out how to tug up the hard plastic piece that “locks” the kitty door and let himself out of the room is also the same cat who’s dumb enough to run himself into a wall…more than once?
Why is it that Keiki insists on talking to herself at one a.m., yowling loud enough to have us keep calling her name to see if she really needs something? (An odd thing, given that she’s a cat. I know.)
Why is it that both Keiki and Koa seem to think that the middle of the night is the best time to play fetch, and leave little toy mice all over the floor on my side of the bed?
How on earth does Keiki NOT hear you digging for the ice cream scoop in the drawer, getting a spoon from another drawer, fetching a bowl from the cupboard, and retrieving the ice cream from the freezer, yet she DOES hear the scoop making contact with the ice cream, even in a dead sleep?
Why does my husband seem to think that, just because he pees sitting down, he doesn’t need to wash his hands afterward because he “didn’t touch anything” to get them dirty?
Posted on May 22nd, 2008 at 4:18 pmKristi says:
Mental P Mama says - the time going faster as you get older thing got me for a long time. If you think about it? When you are three? One year is a full 33.3% of your life. A loooooooooong time. By the time you are 30? A year is a much smaller fraction of your life. By the time you are 90? A year is barely over 1% of your life. Nothing at all.
Why is it that people with an innate ability to use chopsticks are so annoying to those of us with no fine motor skills in our hands?
Posted on May 23rd, 2008 at 10:29 pmPat L. says:
Pretty much Murphy’s Law I would say.
And not only teenagers hold their crouch. When the guys in the office come back from the bathroom which is separate from the office - they walk in the door and grab or adjust themselves. Why do they wait to do it when walking back in the office? They are in the bathroom prior for God’s sake - adjust it then.
Posted on May 27th, 2008 at 6:03 am