Another Special I-Love-Lucy moment
February 11, 2008 | Filed under: Stuff
Izzy often decides at dawn that she had to go to the bathroom. Since she theoretically belongs to the husband, this is no skin off my nose — she’s Alpha Man’s problem. (I have to admit to loving that).
But this past weekend Alpha Man was out of town. And Izzy became mine. And as usual, she woke up at dawn ready to rumble. This is not my favorite start to the day, a rude wake up call from a four month old puppy who probably waited too long to tell me she has to go to the bathroom, which in turn means not spending the time to get dressed but running barefoot and barely clad through the house with a squirming puppy in my arms, heading to the front door while yelling “not yet, not yet, please hold it, please hold it . . .”
Of course it’s like minus fifty million degrees, so when I first open the front door and set her down, she suddenly decides she was just kidding, she doesn’t have to go out.
So I’m standing there shivering in the doorway in nothing but a tank top and underwear wondering WHY DON’T I WEAR SOCKS TO BED. I point to the mountain of snow by the front door and say “go pottie”.
Izzy whines and sits.
I say louder GO POTTY.
I get a feeble tail wag. Are you kidding me? You got me out of the warm bed for this? No. I’m not caving. I KNOW she has to go. So I look both ways. I don’t see a soul. Dammit. I step outside with her and to the snow, standing there in BARE FEET AND A TANK TOP (is it any wonder I contracted pneumonia? Seriously. And I even went to college) and yell at the dog GO POTTIE.
She finally squats to do her thing just as the plow truck drives down our street. The driver looks at me, executes a comical double take, because let’s face it, how often does he get to see a stupid stupid STUPID woman standing out in the snow in a tank and panties?
Don’t tell me. I already know. It’s definitely hard to be me.
But there I am. Nearly butt naked outside. What can I do? Nothing. The dog is still peeing. So I wave. Alpha Man is going to be so proud.
My new best friend waved back, so that’s something. Sigh. I have to go. Must go dig a hole to crawl into. That, or sell the house and move.
(After commenting on my stupidity, please go see yesterday’s post for the contest!)
Tags: funny, humorous, life, pets, potty training, puppy, romance novels
Posted by Jill @ 1:00 am | Make a Comment
Kim A. says:
Oh, Izzy is adorable! So precious! What a doll.
But how the heck can you go outside in FREEZING WINTER while barely dressed?????
Gaaahhh! I wear flannel and thick socks to bed, sleep with two comforters over me plus a doubled-up afghan — and the cats! I’m cold from October/November right through to May.
Probably you are the snow plow driver’s “hottest” fantasy now. :rotfl:
-Kim, in now sunny but freezing (-25C/-13F) Kingston, ON
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 5:27 amJudy F says:
I hope he didn’t have a camera phone… LOL
Only you
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 5:41 amJSL says:
Jill, this really is an “only you” post. :rotfl: And Kim’s comment cracked me up. Oh puppies.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 5:46 amShelly says:
I guess you can expect to have your drive plowed extra often now….. and your trees trimmed…..and electrical lines checked…..and horned owls discovered….. I am sure all the agencies will be “stopping by” once word gets out. (wink)
Have a super (warm) day everyone.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 6:23 amNicole Reising says:
Have fun!
Cole
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 6:27 amNicole Reising says:
Just had to add a comment — I love your share button! Works great! I’m going to have to look into getting that gadget myself. Not that anyone would actually use it :rotfl: but I like it.
Cole
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 6:35 amMental Pause Mama says:
That is one of the funniest stories I’ve heard in a while.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 6:55 amMental Pause Mama says:
You should put that in your next book…how they met…
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 6:56 amDee says:
We have an 8 lb. yorkie-poo with colitis, so I get to clean up a lot of poop and vomit, and she won’t “grow out of it.” She’s an adorable, precious dog, but a hug amount of trouble. However, the one thing we’ve gotten her to do successfully is pee on the puppy peepee pads. We buy them at the grocery store. We keep them in her favorite spot, behind the sofa in the family room, so they aren’t obvious. I urge you to buy some of these, since you don’t want a relapse of the pneumonia…
Dee
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 7:04 amCaryn says:
Hey, you shouldn’t feel too bad. Just think of the public service! You probably made that poor guy’s day. And you’ll get *great* service from now on; he’ll probably go up and down your street religiously after the slightest dusting of snow in hopes of seeing you out there so scantily clad.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 7:15 amAsthmagirl says:
Yes! How many times have the neighbors gotten an eyeful of me in the back yard chanting “go potty”!?
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 7:15 amI’ve potty trained 3 puppies in 3 years (I’m so not doing it this year!) and have spent quite a lot of time cheering them on!
The youngest does the pee pad thing. She goes outside with the big girls, sniffs around and then runs in and pees on the pads!
Cherlyn says:
Okay, this was a really funny story. I don’t know about pets sometimes. I think they do things on purpose and make fun of us. :yes:
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 7:32 amnaomi says:
Ugh! I remember those days with our dog. It gets worse again when they age. I regularly flashed the neighbours, which isn’t the treat it sounds like. Not this this doughy body, lol!
Have some cookies and take the day to recover from your trauma. Then make sure Alpha Man pays you back for this in a big way! LOL
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 7:35 amBailey Stewart says:
You were outside in nothing but a tank top and underwear, in the snow with bare feet? I’m not amused missy – you’re recovering from pneumonia!
Okay, pneumonia aside, flashing the plow guy will probably ensure that you’ll get great service from now on.
And this is one of those moments that I’m thankful for cats with litter boxes.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 7:42 amRobin says:
LOL, Jill. :rotfl: I think everyone’s right. You’ll have help whenever you need it now! I live in Southern Cal and sleep covered from head to toe, I’m always cold. I can’t believe you hustled your scantilly clad body out of bed, let alone out the door. Maybe keep a robe handy for just such emergencies? Or maybe not – it’s good to have friends in the right places, right? lol
And Izzy is adorable!
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 8:38 amJen(aside) says:
I live in town and sometimes I have to streak past all the uncurtained windows on the lover level while wearing not much of anything. I always wonder if the sledders on our sledding hill (the street right outside my windows) catch a glimpse.
Oh well!
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 8:50 amChristina says:
It always nice to start Monday off with a good laugh. We have a small dog who likes to go out at 3am, and then she will dart in and out of the house for 10 minutes before she goes. It can be very annoying!
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 8:52 amJill says:
Because I’ve gotten so many “how could you” comments, I was going to come to my own defense, but the truth is, there is NO defense for going outside in my underwear. I mean who does that??? When I told Alpha Man about this, he wasn’t too surprised, which should tell you just how often I pull this sort of Not Thinking ahead thing.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 9:03 amElizabeth K says:
Umm… I go outside in my underwear. Not on purpose or anything, but I do it–no shoes, forty below… cause that’s how I roll, baby! GOIMU’s unite!
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 9:06 amHélène says:
OMG! I can just imagine the driver being on his CB radio saying something like ” Huh? boss?, There’s this nearly nakes woman, barefoot at such and such address…” And the boss rsponds ” Did you take a picture?” :no:
By the time he figured out how to work his camera phone, i hope you were back inside, or else you’ll end up with your picture plastered on their wall, as their new “calendar girl” at their garage. :rotfl:
Alpha Man owes you BIG TIME!! He better have a BIG & expensive gift for you on Valentine’s Day.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 9:21 amCourtney says:
LOL. That story totally brightened my morning. And those paws? Am I the only one who thinks the most-adorable-puppy-in-America is going to be GINORMOUS?
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 9:51 amChrista says:
I have my fleece pajamas and three comforters but then I’m with Kim in down in Ontario
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 10:02 amSusan says:
Just wait until those uppity mom’s who don’t read ‘those kind of books’ hear about you putting the moves on the plow truck driver! :rotfl:
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 10:35 amBailey Stewart says:
Susan – :rotfl:
And I only gave the “how could you” line because I love you. I don’t like you being sick.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 11:07 amBrandy says:
You are so going to get sick again! Knock it off. *g* Have you heard from your new best friend yet? *G*
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 11:37 amKaren Erickson says:
I love the fact that you waved. You crack me up.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 11:39 amLis says:
:rotfl: oh that is bad!
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 12:01 pmDru says:
:rotfl: Another rip roaring hilarious laugh out of me in the office. My co-workers want to know what the heck I’m laughing at. I tell them you just have to know Jill to know how funny this is. You’ll definitely have some new lurkers today.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 12:20 pmMaureen says:
I thought the story was going to be that the door closed and you were locked out so I think it’s better that the plow truck driver saw you, at least you could get back in the house.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 12:22 pmAllie says:
Jill, your blog is better than hot chocolate to start my day.
When my dogs were puppies I slept in my clothes until they could sleep through the night.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 12:26 pmJill says:
Gasp! Maureen, lol, that would have been a true nightmare, stuck outside in my underwear. But quite frankly, it’s a miracle it didn’t go that way, given me and my I Love Lucy life . . .
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 12:28 pmJill says:
And Allie, so THAT’S the trick . . .
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 12:28 pmDonna M says:
Are you nuts!!!
Since you are still recovering from pneumonia I can’t believe you went out in the snow in bare feet! I’m always to cold to do anything like that!! 
Since I sleep alone I wear flannel jammies, have flannel sheets & a down comforter & if my feet are cold I put on socks!!! Such a pretty picture!! Keep a robe handy when Alpha Man is gone. Slippers would be good too!!!
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 12:30 pmI bet the snow plow driver hasn’t been the same all day!!! :rotfl:
Donna M says:
P.S. I just want you to stay well!!
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 12:31 pmI’ve been grinning ever since I read the post!
Hélène says:
I just thought of something. If anyone ever mentions, or ask why you were outside in your underwear, you could tell them you ‘re a new member of the Polar brear club, and ere “practicing”
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 1:11 pm:yes: :bananadance:
Liza says:
Hope “plow guy” was as good looking as the one on Men in Trees. Izzy is so cute, but maybe keep a robe handy for the next adventure in the snow.
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 2:48 pmCryna says:
:rotfl: I agree with the rest of the posters, you are going to get good service from snow plow man now……….But sure hope that you never got sicker by being out there in your near all togetherness. I can just picture it all – you were brave to wave …..
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 3:59 pmDaphne says:
I swear my life isn’t as exciting as yours!!! :hyper:
Hope you’ve got plenty of cookies!!
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 4:26 pmLori says:
That’s why we only have cats and litter boxes in the Sallee house!
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 4:53 pmjeanne says:
Thank goodness you weren’t locked out lol. Everything Bailey said!! And that is why when we had dogs we paper trained them. Just a small section in the laundry room. And that way if we were late from getting home from work and wanted to go away for a night or sleep in – the dog wasn’t being asked to hold it forever or didn’t have an accident or we didn’t have to find someone to please let them out for us! And now I have cats – leave food and water and they’re good for 2 or 3 days
Posted on February 11th, 2008 at 8:29 pmSarah says:
LMAO. Yeah, it’s something I would do. I disrobe as soon as I enter the door of the house each evening after work.
You could just use it as an excuse for some fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies and hot chocolate to warm you up!
Posted on February 12th, 2008 at 8:43 amBayou Woman says:
Uh, Oh, Jill. someone must tell Alpha Man so he can spank you for going out half naked while recooping from the pneumonia! Don’t you have one of those huge terry robes, girl?!!!
Posted on February 14th, 2008 at 8:06 pmBW
Sorry I haven’t been around much, got some of my own personal health things going on. Visit blog about Toof! and Wednesday’s for more info!
deb says:
Don’t feel bad. I once tried to save a baby mocking bird in my shorty robe with oven mitts on my hands. Just about the time I was running for my life holding the baby bird in the oven mitts while dodging its homicidal mother, my kids librarian walked by on her way to work. Good times.
Posted on February 18th, 2008 at 7:24 pm