Bear – 1, Stupid Human – 0
January 19, 2008 | Filed under: Stuff
So we had beef stew earlier in the week, and when no one finished the leftovers, I took it out to the trash.
Not my smartest move, throwing away meat with three days left until trash pickup.
The next morning at the crack of dawn, Ashes starts going on, barking and growling and drooling, basically looking like a deranged wild dog at the sliding glass door. Just outside is a huge momma bear sitting on the driveway with our trashcan in her lap like it’s a jar of honey, helping herself.
In the tree? Her baby.
By now Ashes is giving herself a concussion against the glass. Alpha Man, lights off a firecracker to try to scare off the bear (and let’s face it, he’s thrilled to have such an excuse to be a boy). At the noise, the bear glares up at us, casually sets aside the trash can, gathers her baby, and nonchalantly walks off, swinging her VW sized ass like I’LL BE BACK, and vanishes into the woods.
But not before taking a HUGE, steaming massive dump on our driveway. Thanks, big girl, and you have a good weekend too.
Posted by Jill @ 1:00 am | Make a Comment
Asthmagirl says:
Don’t you love bears?
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 6:53 amWho cleaned up the bear poo?
Wendy says:
LOL! I take it you won’t be the one cleaning that lovely present, huh?
Make Alpha man do it! He wants to be all tough with the firecracker than what’s better than cleaning a big momma’s dump?
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 7:26 amCaryn says:
My God! I’m STILL laughing! That was hilarious, and I could so see the entire scene. I lived in bear country for three years, but rarely saw them. A teacher friend of mine waited tables, too (considering her salary and the cost of living, it was pretty much a necessity!). One afternoon they had the kitchen door open because it had become very hot in there. The cook turned around to discover that a bear had wandered right in! Panic ensued, but they managed to get the bear out and slam the door closed before too much damage was done.
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 8:27 amJill says:
Alpha Man took care of it, lol. I don’t do bear poop.
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 8:27 amAlice Audrey says:
That makes up for the time he said he killed the spider, but didn’t. Oh, wait. Nothing can make up for that, not even cookies.
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 9:23 amGwen says:
I am still trying to fathom the idea of bears in your yard.
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 10:15 amSusan says:
That’s what Alpha Man gets for interrupting her meal!
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 10:18 amCourtney says:
ROFLMAO! OMG: Very funny Jill.
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 10:42 amWendy says:
Ohmygod, Jill, I can’t stop laughing! When I saw your comment, I called my mom over so she would see it and she burst out laughing and says “Ahha! told ya so.”
Jill, PLEASE don’t give her more incentive to say she’s always right, I’m the one who has to live with her, lol.
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 10:45 amCryna says:
Oh Jill, that is just too funny. Glad that you let Alpha Man clean up the present left behind. :rotfl:
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 2:54 pmDonna M says:
Your bear stories are almost unbelievable!! However, no one could make them up! It is the way you tell them. Why are the bears out, it is to early to come out of hibernation, do they know it is winter?!!
The emoticons are not showing up on for me! I want the ROFL one!!
Hope there are no more bears in your weekend! There are the emoticons, hmmm what’s going on!
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 4:13 pmjeanne says:
I just can’t imagine having bears that close – and a mama bear and her cub (which is adorable) they say is the most vicious of them all. But I so enjoy your stories and pics
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 6:43 pmBrandy says:
OMgosh, too funny! Nature has lovely surprises doesn’t it? *G*
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 7:10 pmCourtneyCarroll says:
Jill-FYI-I FINALLY found a copy of Get a Clue today in Portland.
Posted on January 19th, 2008 at 7:28 pmbonita says:
Oh, dear! Certainly hope the ‘dump’ was not the bear equivalent of a hobo’s “+” sign.
Posted on January 20th, 2008 at 2:49 amJSL says:
Jill – :rotfl: all your bear adventures.
Posted on January 20th, 2008 at 1:24 pmJudy F says:
I think the bears score is a lot higher then one. LOL
Yikes. Glad alpha man was there for clean up.
Hope you are staying warm.
Posted on January 20th, 2008 at 2:09 pmShelli Stevens says:
Okay now that’s just cute! Great picture!
Posted on January 20th, 2008 at 5:56 pmBayou Woman says:
A mother bear? I’ve got some catching up to do. Thanks for stopping by my blog, Jill. Somehow your blog did not get added to my feed. I will be back more often from now on! I can’t wait to read all your back posts! And maybe win a book!
Posted on January 21st, 2008 at 8:07 amBW