September 7, 2007 | Filed under: Stuff
I’m still stinging over a stupid comment one of the carpool moms made to me today, something about romance novels being too simple for her, so I find myself unable to put together any sort of nice blog entry. So instead, we’re all going to be a little snarky, which suits my mood perfectly. I’m assuming if you’re reading my words here, you are a lover of romance novels as I am, and read them frequently.
So. What I want to hear are your come backs when people make stupid, uneducated comments on what you love to read. I want to hear what you have said, and also what you would never actually dare to say.
Let the venting begin.
Posted by Jill @ 1:00 am | Make a Comment
Stacy ~ says:
“Yes, because reading stories about healthy relationships and good sex and strong women is so bad for you”.
Well, I wish I could say stuff like that. Or tell that bee-yotch how many intelligent, beautiful, successful career women read romance. But more than anything, I’d want her to feel like she’s missing out on something, so what I’d really like to do is smile mysteriously at her and say “Oh, your poor, poor darling. That’s too bad”.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 3:23 amElizabeth K says:
First, validation: Jill, we love you. You are totally the bomb.
Second, some questions:
1. Did she say this KNOWING what you do?
If so, I’d seriously consider ditching that carpool because sooner or later… POW! Right in the kisser! Barring physical violence, however, I recommend the “simple” approach: “Wow! You’re such a bitch! Who knew?” or something like that. Hey, life is too short to put up with put-downs.
If no, I suppose I would have looked at her, totally straight-faced and said, “I write romance novels, you know.” Then, in a perfect world, I would have a copy of my latest handy to give to her while asking, “Would you like me to autograph that?”
Has she ever read one of your books?
If so, then definitely GET OUT of that carpool! The temptation to run her over some morning might be more than you can resist!
If no, leave a book in her car. Like ‘Get a Clue’. Nothing like starting things off with a neon pink dildo!
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 3:49 amHeather Harper says:
Does she know what you do for a living?
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 5:41 amHoney says:
All these people who bash romance novels… *sigh* And what do they watch on TV when they go home at night? Which movies do they see?
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 5:52 amCarolyn A. says:
First off…I LOVE your books, Jill and romance is my preferred reading pleasure. I love relationship stories with a happy ending (real life is full of unhappy endings) and sure I love the sex, who doesn’t? Well apparently your carpool lady doesn’t. More’s the pity to her and her significant other. My suggestion is to find a new carpool buddy, one who appreciates romance.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 6:15 amKimberly, AKA Problem Child says:
Start with a slightly confused, “Really? Wow. That’s interesting.”
Then, “I’ve personally found that the themes of self and existence explored in romance to be reminiscent of the tenets of both 19th and 20th century existentialism, however with an ultimately more optimistic worldview. I think the idea that the ego emerges from experience to be a particular focus of modern romance, combining both Kierkegaard’s and Sartre’s ideas of choice and actions.”
Then look at the bitch like you actually expect a response…
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 6:18 amSuzy says:
My usual response–so the smart books are SUPPOSE to come with audiotapes?
I like to remind those “high-minded” readers that AUTHORS of romance novels are pretty darn smart. Lisa Kleypas is a graduate of Wellesley. Julia Quinn and Eloise James are Harvard graduates. Quinn was accepted to Harvard Medical. James went on to Yale to get her Ph.D. Stephanie Laurens has a Ph.D. in biochemistry. Carly Phillips and Joan Johnston were practicing attorneys.
They’re just jealous the rest of us can read without moving our lips.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 6:26 amZaharoula Viennas says:
Hi Jill,
Sorry to hear someone that ignorant is in your carpool. I would ignore her and talk to the kids (most of the time they are more interesting to talk to than the adults anyway.) I am a pediatric hospitalist- I read plenty of medical literature and I thoroughly enjoy reading romance novels. I love your books and I don’t consider them or myself simple. Thanks for such great writing-I am looking forward to your upcoming releases.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 6:46 amAlice Audrey says:
I just smile enigmatically, like I know something she doesn’t but I’m not going to tell her what it is, and say, “Yes, I do.” if she asks do I read or writer Romance.
Or I look all innocent and surprised and say, “Oh! You don’t read it, do you,” as if I can hardly believe it. The more she says stupid things, the more pity I offer.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 6:50 amWanda Hogan says:
If romances are ‘too simple’, then I’d like to see her write one. And I agree with Stacy - bee-yotch!
Wanda
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 7:11 amJill says:
LOL, I feel better already. Love you guys.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 7:17 amAllie says:
I no longer get comments from people about my choice of reading. I have explained to everyone that I adore romance novels because they fall under every other genre as well… there are mysteries, thrillers, paranormal, paranormal mysteries,
medical, historical, etc. This can be said about most genres, but romance is especially good for this–and with romance, you have my favorite part–the romance!!
Also, romance novels have happy endings.
After typing medical reports all day about people who are ill and often refuse to take care of themselves (like asthmatics who complain about constant coughing and won’t agree to quit smoking), I really need me some happy ending!!
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 7:42 amJulie Leto says:
IMO, there is no comeback. She’s not going to be converted or change her thinking. I think the only thing to say is, “Wow, I don’t know if you know how elitist and pretentious that sounds, not to mention rude since I’m a romance writer, but you really should think before you speak, unless you were tryin on purpose to be rude, in which case, congratulations.”
Honesty. Best policy.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 8:01 amLaurie says:
I really don’t get comments on my choice of reading materials. As for snark, the only comment I would like to have made involved one of my bosses and the colonoscopy he had last week - I wanted to ask him if they found his head on a stick while they were in there. I obviously refrained, seeing how I’m still employed.
I would like to invite everyone to stop by my blog, http://lauries-laudanum.blogspot.com/ - where I have a review up for Jill’s THE TROUBLE WITH PARADISE, as well as a contest for a book from her backlist. Please stop by - and tell your friends!
Thanks - I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 8:11 amKrisit says:
I generally just say, “I love to read, so I read anything and everything I can get my hands on.” If a book, ANY book gets people reading, how can it possibly be a bad thing? Who wants a bunch of illiterate people running around? Biotch is right. I also tend to add something about it being so much more entertaining than TV which is just mind numbing (though I should probably be careful with the TV comments to avoid offending people.) LOL.
Keep up the good writing and wonderful stories.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 8:19 amNancy says:
When I’m in a debating mood I find the best response is, “What do you mean?” and watch and listen to them dig themselves further into a hole.
Years ago I got tired of defending the feminist movement, tired of pointing out that I was a woman, not a “girl” etc. When I’m not in the mood to listen to an ignorant response, I just shrug. Each to their own.
Meanwhile, Jill, I LOVE love love your blog. Recently I deleted many bookmarks (time issue), hovered over yours, found I couldn’t hit delete because you make me laugh. I still think about the post about your husband and boys in the bookstore with their “air” machine.
For every ignorant person’s remark about romance novels you’ll find those who counter the remark. Your books are fabulous reads.
Nancy
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 8:23 amNancy says:
Oh Krisit! I like that response. Will use it.
Meanwhile, hope everyone has a great weekend.
Nancy
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 8:28 amErin says:
You could always break out the facts on her.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 9:52 am“Wow! That must be why research shows that the majority of mass market paperbacks sold are Romances. And that many romance readers hold graduate degrees. In fact many of our writers used to be attorneys and college professors.”
Or just call her a b*tch and get it over with. Frankly she’s a
Pat L. says:
Does she know what you do? If so, she is really really stupid, if not she is just plain stupid.
Romance books must be popular otherwise we wouldn’t read them and you wouldnt write them.
Her loss.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 10:38 amDeborah says:
I’d just say…
“Wow, that’s too bad. So what was the last book you read?”
I’m betting she’s not a reader and will be stuttering and stammering all the way to b*tchville.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 10:51 amKimberly H says:
The last time someone made a comment about me reading romance novels, I just reminded them that most of my books are tame compared to what is now in the movies and on TV. Sure they describe some intimate scenes but hopefully they have experienced it sometime, so why is it soooo horrible? lol
Also if they make a comment ask them the last time they watched a TV show or movie that doesn’t have a love story or talk about sex. The last person who thought they could make fun of me for reading romance couldn’t come up with a counter response.
PS Next time the shrew makes a comment about romance books give her a pity face and then say, “Well it might help your simple mind become more creative and accepting… but if thats to beneath you..” lol
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 10:56 amjeanne says:
Oh I’m still laughing over Julie Leto’s and Laurie’s reponses.
“Did you say you were simpleminded?”
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 12:03 pmLis says:
The best comeback I can think of would be ’sounds like everyone in NYC rejected your manuscript’ lol
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 12:09 pmDonna M says:
What a rude person to make that comment to you!
I am guessing she knows what you do. Perhaps you could make a negative comment about her occupation or her husbands if she doesn’t work! I just don’t understand why people seem to have such negative attitudes about romance novels. Your books are always so enjoyable & I can’t wait to read them when I have a new one.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 12:10 pmKimberly,AKA Problem child, I was cracking up over your response. Great comeback!
Have a great weekend everyone.
angie T says:
Yeah! What Julie said…in spades bay-bee!!
Although I liked Suzy’s response too!
They’re just jealous the rest of us can read without moving our lips.
I find that most folks who make ignorant remarks like that are like BB/blog trolls…they are just looking to get a rise out of you. Usually an amused look and a smile is better than an actual reponse.
Or you could say, “Yeah. That Jane Austen…she was pretty stupid, huh? Bet no one reads her works anymore.”
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 12:48 pmBailey Stewart says:
Well I’m late to the party and don’t have anything different to add - so do you want me to come there and “take her out” for you?
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 12:49 pmEllen says:
Give her this next time.
Jill, I read nothing but classic works for four years for my lit degree, and while I’m fond of some of the authors and poets, after I graduated, I switched to reading romance. It became my preferred genre partly because I love a happy ending, but also because I quickly recognized how very talented so many of the writers are (you included). Just because a work is complex (sometimes so much so you need a road map), that doesn’t make it enjoyable - or even good.
Romance writers gift us with wonderful stories of love and hope. Speaking as a reader, it’s not simple, it’s magic.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 1:21 pmChristie says:
I think you should forget to pick the kid up and then tell the mom, “I’m sorry, I write romance so I must be too simple to remember your child.” Or maybe she’s just jealous because she doesn’t have any romance in her life.
Romance has a guaranteed happy ending and that is something I wish were true in life. Thank you for giving us great stories.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 1:44 pmBrandy says:
First of all, she should be smacked for making such a reference. Second, I would have just said “Funny, my husband doesn’t seem to mind the research!”.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 3:01 pmWhat a witch. Some people feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better. I ALMOST feel sorry for her. She just doesn’t know what she’s missing by not reading your wonderful books.
Erika C says:
OMG!!! First, I can’t believe she would say that to you. What a moron. Second, I find if hard to believe that she doesn’t read romance because it’s “simple” that’s just dumb, she probably doesn’t read at all. Not everyone likes romance and that’s fine, but honesty works a whole lot better than rude.
I’d tell her to kiss my ***.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 3:24 pmEstella says:
I would say–You mean you can actually read?
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 3:40 pmLori says:
When I was working at Sam’s Club back in the 80’s people used to look at me down their noses for working there because it was affiliated with Wal-Mart. I just always thought they were ignorant.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 4:49 pmI started reading romance novels after I read an article in the online newspaper for Truckee. I read everything with your name on it after that article and was totally in awe. GO JILL
Andey says:
Kimberley has obviously spent a few years in academia. (I loved that answer, by the way!)
Jill, you rock. She’s just a stupid, jealous bee-otch. Proof that you’re awesome: one of my friends was recently raving about a book she read because she knows I’m an addict. Guess which one it was? For the Love of Nick. (I had to lend her my entire collection of your books once she found out I had them.)
Next time you see her, you should tell her that your loyal readers want to know her address so they can send her hate mail for making you sad. (I’m thinking signing her up for a bunch of telemarketer calls would be simple enough.)
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 6:16 pmJudy F says:
Do you want me to come hurt her? Jeesh how rude. My boss does not read Romance and makes cracks all the time. Its easier for me to just let her go then to be unemployed. But I tell her she should try them.
Hugs Jill We love you…. bunches.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 6:36 pmSerena says:
Oh Oh Oh, I know.
Romance is too simple? Really? How sad for you. One of the most complex emotions in life is love. How can you have true love without romance? If you feel it’s simple then it’s apparent you’ve never had it. And that’s just sad.
Nothing like pity to make someone go, ooooooo, ouch.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 7:16 pmJill says:
Seriously, these comments made my day!! You guys always make my day, knew I could count on you!! HUGS.
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 8:01 pmKate Hardy says:
Jill, hugs - the woman clearly has an inferiority complex and is trying to make herself feel good by making you feel bad.
Love the responses (especially Julie Leto’s).
My policy at the moment (as I’ve just had a nasty review) is a dignified silence… and I’m eating a LOT of chocolate
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 11:42 pmKate Hardy says:
Jill, hugs - the woman clearly has an inferiority complex and is trying to make herself feel good by making you feel bad.
Love the responses (especially Julie Leto’s).
My policy at the moment (as I’ve just had a nasty review) is a dignified silence… and I’m eating a LOT of chocolate
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 11:42 pmKate Hardy says:
Sorry, didn’t mean to post that twice! (Am clearly just a simple-minded romance writer…)
Posted on September 7th, 2007 at 11:43 pmCarly Phillips says:
What bugs ME when I get these is that any comment sounds preachy and pedantic (OK sorry for the big words) and defensive. IT’s unfair that we can NEVER find the right words - which proably just amount to : BITE ME.
Posted on September 8th, 2007 at 4:06 amLaura says:
I guess if it’s someone you have to deal with on a regular basis, it would be hard to come back with a snarky remark (or not, I don’t know). I LOVE the comment about your husband not minding the research. Too funny.
My thought was more along the lines of looking her up and down saying “Oh really? Well, honey, if you ask me, you look like you could use some romance…if you know what I mean. It may help ‘relax’ you.” Bless her heart. LOL
Most people in my life know I’m an avid reader and I’ve never had anyone put down that I read romance - ever. And it’s not a secret what I read.
Sorry that happened to you Jill.
Posted on September 8th, 2007 at 7:30 amJonathon Morgan says:
I have such a bad habit of doing that — making an off-hand, highly-opinionated blanket statement (that’s probably not true in all circumstances, anyway), only to discover that I’ve been incredibly rude to whoever I’m talking to.
Ugh.
What does she know? Does she write novels? Probably not. And if she does, she’s no best-selling author. I’m sticking out my tongue in her general direction.
Posted on September 8th, 2007 at 8:16 amBarbara says:
I was getting a pedicure last week, and the lady beside me was reading a romance. The guy doing her pedicure said, “What are you reading?” She looked at him sort of sheepishly and said, “Trash.” I nearly came out of my chair! I turned to her, gave her the evil glare (I teach sixth grade hormones so believe me when I say I can give the glare!), and said, “Then why are you reading it? I love romance novels.” She just stammered for a minute and said, “My mom gave it to me.” Honestly, I can’t tell you how much I wanted to smack some sense into her. It’s people like that who give romance a bad name. She was clearly enjoying the story, but was too - I don’t…embarrassed? - to admit it was good. You’re not alone, Jill. There are ignorant people everywhere. I feel sorry for them.
Posted on September 8th, 2007 at 8:26 amplatypus says:
I’m no good with comebacks. I’m one of those people who thinks of them half an hour later and then gets cross that the moment had passed but I’m sorry she upset you. It was a mean thing to say and, to be honest, if someone is rude enough to say things like that then you know their opinion counts for precisely nothing. Don’t let it get you down. x
Posted on September 8th, 2007 at 3:32 pmMary Lynn says:
Anyone, who passes a blanket judgement, on an entire literary genre, is just flat out ignorant - believe me, there is nothing going on there!!!!
Posted on September 8th, 2007 at 8:59 pmMary Lynn says:
Ooooo forgot…. What to say to the b*tch? - all the prior suggestions are great, i.e. “Kiss my a**”, “Bite Me”, etc,,, THEN she needs a good b*tch slap.
Posted on September 8th, 2007 at 9:21 pmapril says:
Well, if they’re simple and I read them, I’m not alone. Has she looked at the genre’s sales, the demographics of the men and women who read the books? Besides the fact that most fiction has romantic elements, I believe there is a romance book for everyone out there - historical, contemporary, horror, suspense, thriller, fantasy, fairy tale, family. People who criticize romance just haven’t read one, are comparing it to something they saw their grandmother read when they were younger, or just base it on one book or blurb.
If it is someone I know, I’ll give them a reading challenge. I’ll pick out a romance book based on the reading tendencies they have. I’ve gotten my mom to read one, my sister. This is big. My mom only reads non-fiction or historicals and my sister doesn’t read anything but Harry Potter (and, let’s put it this way… she finished Harry Potter last freakin’ week!).
Posted on September 9th, 2007 at 8:06 amToni Anderson says:
“Maybe you should read my PhD thesis instead?”
Grrh. People are stupid. Ignore them.
Posted on September 9th, 2007 at 3:22 pmJaye Patrick says:
My reply?
“Well, I’m sorry to hear you think Shakespeare, Chaucer, Austen and the Bronte sisters as simple. Oh, you don’t read them? Well, never mind.”
Words slice deeper than the blade of a dagger.
Posted on September 9th, 2007 at 6:38 pmKat says:
1. OMG, I love them! (Nothing like watching someone trying to remove their foot from their mouth. This is what I normally go with, and I’ve used it quite a few times.)
2. Have you actually read one?
3. Only if you skip to the naughty bits every time.
And then, just to amuse myself, I would try to include the words “hey, I learned that from a romance novel” into every conversation for the entire day. Heh.
Posted on September 10th, 2007 at 1:54 amLaurie G says:
I say let her comment go!
The proof of your success and the popularity of the romance genre proves her WRONG!
In todays dangerous world there’s nothing simple about enjoying and obtaining “a happy ever after ending”.
Writing is hard work. Take pride in your accomplishments and let the simpleminded person’s comment GO!
Posted on September 10th, 2007 at 3:56 amnaomi says:
I generally ask the “why” or “tell me more” questions, though I’m now leaning toward Kimberly’s response. Nice! Very nice.
When people tell me more about why they are anti-romance books, it’s either based on myths about the genre (as in, they have never read a romance but hear these things about them) or because they have read books that aren’t really romance. And I’ll give them this, there are poorly written romances out there. Jill does not write any of those! LOL
When someone bashes a genre due to misconceptions or elitism, I call them on it. I state facts, I issue challenges and I call a spade a spade. I try to do it nicely, but I do it. And then I learn to let it go. Still learning that one, but my peace is more in tact than it used to be.
Posted on September 10th, 2007 at 10:09 amKelly says:
Too simple??
Yeah, really. I hate those romance novels. Silly little books with interesting plots, strong characterization, emotion and plenty of twists and turns. Oh and those happy endings that restore my faith in humanity? Those suck.
Argh. I had someone at work actually say to me when they heard I wrote romance say, “Oh, I heard that for Harlequin you just got a template and filled in the blanks.” Right. Anyone know where I could find that template? It would cut down on my writing time considerably.
Posted on September 10th, 2007 at 10:56 amJemima says:
Oh my God, these are the funniest comments ever! All these things I’m sure you wish you’d thought of at the time (I would!)…
I love the education comebacks and the healthy relationships with interesting characters and good sex comment. Sigh…so true.
I read romance novels because sometimes I want a book to be an escape to a romantic and spicy world with a happy ending. God, I just finished Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, and had to chase it with a reread of Bridget Jones just to feel human again! It’s like with movies…I don’t always want to be preached to or come away wringing my hands at the state of mankind/the planet/world health. Sometimes I really want to be entertained, and I think that’s totally valid AND valuable.
Posted on September 11th, 2007 at 10:36 amMary says:
HUGS, Jill! Love all the responses, but I would just be standing around like this
Posted on September 11th, 2007 at 7:43 pmShelly says:
I think I might be able to top this and ease your woes a bit Jill…..
So I am taking an upper division English class this semester in preparation for graduating and it is “The Art of The Short Story”. I think they should rename it “Authors Who Were Whacked and Needed Psychotherapy” since we “get to” read Poe and Hawthorne and other torturous, chauvinistic “masterpieces” (their pieces all right! Pieces of…) Can you tell I’m not an English major?
Anywho, last night, we finally actually had (what I thought) to be a good read: The Storm by Kate Chopin. It was written in late 1800’s and was VERY dicey for its time. The author was seriously scorned for its vulgarity (kind of funny that someone wouldn’t bat an eyelash at it if it were in Cosmo this day and age….but that’s a different story)
Ding-bat me decides to speak up in a room of 45+ English Majors how much I enjoyed the storyline and found it to read very much like a “Romance Novel”.
{{GASPS!!!}} {{Giggles}} {{Then cricket chirping silence}}
(Oh no she di’-n’t!)
… As the professor looks me dead in the face and ROLLED….yes ROLLED her eyes at me!
Someone from the back of the room says sarcastically, “Ya, maybe thats where Danielle Steel gets her stuff. Ha!”
I (reflecting on this prior post) sit up a little straighter in my chair, feeling a bit proud not to have a dead psychotic persons novel stuck up my…uh….ego….and respond , “Guess I’m just a simple kinda gal.”
Thanks for giving me the guts!!!
Posted on September 12th, 2007 at 8:11 pm