How to almost kill your cat

So I was on the treadmill — I know, I know, but I have to work off the Lemon Oreos somehow! In any case, I have the music blaring via earbuds and I look down to see Satan– er, Sadie the cat is staring at the treadmill with curiosity. You see, she’s never seen it in motion before, she thought it was a device to hang stuff on.

Blinks innocently….

ANYWAY, Sadie goes to step on the treadmill while I’m really moving (but not, you should note, actually running cuz my body objects vehemently to running). Trying to save the cat, I make a “pssst” sound, the kind you make to scare off a curious feline. But with the earbuds in, I can’t tell how loud I am and apparently I was pretty loud. And since that sound also tells Dobby, aka Dumbass, that it’s playtime, the dog woke up out of a dead sleep and came at the cat.

So I yell at her to stop, taking my attention off the cat for ONE SECOND, during which she takes a leap onto the treadmill with me. She promptly goes FLYING off the back like a rocket and hits the wall. I whirled around, terrified I’ve just killed the cat, and almost die myself. By the time I get the treadmill turned off, the cat and the dog are in a faceoff, growling at each other, certain that whatever just happened was the other one’s fault.

THIS is why I don’t exercise.

p.s. the cat wasn’t harmed, just furious. The dog lived to tell the tale. I needed cookies to get over it …

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16 Comments on “How to almost kill your cat

  1. You just made me spit out my morning Dr. Pepper! LOL!! (Glad no animals were harmed in the making of this hilarious blog post.)

  2. Oh Jill…is your life EVER dull??? Glad everyone is okay! All the cats I had stayed away from the treadmill HOWEVER one loved to ride an old canister vac. Very odd.

    Have both electronic and print coming from the Big A! I’m ready!

  3. Thank heavens you are all ok! You lead a most interesting life Jill. 🙂 Just fodder for your books.

    Are you going to get some emoticons back?

  4. Love this…Every time I get on the treadmill, my Phoenix, my ball crazy dog tries to take me out by dropping one of her balls at the front of the unit so it flies off the back, which I trip over.

  5. You really need to work this into one of your books. Poor Sadie I bet she won’t be going near the treadmill anytime soon

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