The One With The Piglet

Got some requests for a repeat of this one and since I’m trying to finish a big chapter today I decided to go for it … (Don’t miss the giveaway at the end…)

Okay so we all know strange things tend to happen to me. But what happened yesterday pretty much takes the cake.

I was walking up the trail with Ashes (our old lady, who’s since gone to the big rainbow in the sky), like I do every single day, when all of a sudden I hear a snort. Not a growl, or a hiss, both of which are fairly common for me and tend to turn me into an Olympic speed sprinter, but a snort. Curious, I pulled off my sunglasses and looked at the strange big thing standing at the top of the trail.

From far away it looked like one of those cow statues in downtown Chicago. Bright white and black and very still.

But then the statue moved. Uh oh. I didn’t have my good camera, or my glasses, but something made me whip out my cell phone and take a pic so I could scroll in and see what I was dealing with.

As I did this, the thing started grunting some more and began running towards me.

Can you say holy shit?

I looked down at my phone and blinked in disbelief, then back up at the creature heading towards me, all the while registering that Ashes was not in any way freaked out but acting as if her long lost lover had come to visit, complete with happy ass wriggle and wide grin.

Yes, she grins.

Here’s what I saw:

A pig. It was a fat, adorable, friendly, sweet BIG ASS pig running towards me, and I’m not quite fluent in pig grunts but I think he was saying “oh thank God, a human, I’m lost, can you please be my new best friend? Oh and do you have any food?”

I sent the pic of the pig on my phone to Alpha Man’s phone. I didn’t call because he was grouting tile and I’d already called and interrupted him three times and the last time he asked me very nicely not to call him anymore unless it was an emergency.

He called me immediately. “What the hell?”

Me: Isn’t he adorable?

Him: Tell me you are not bringing a pig home.

Me: Okay I won’t tell you.

A long beat of silence. “Jill, where did that pig come from?”

Me: Well, the pig daddy and the pig mommy fell in love, and then they–

You don’t really want to know what he said to that, or the ensuing conversation, which involved a lot of me saying “he’s so cute and sad and lonely” and him saying “we cannot keep a pig in our house” and me making all sorts of promises that I had no intention of keeping, but then some lady showed up in the woods for her long lost pig.

Only in my world.

p.s. don’t forget ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE is out right now waiting for you.
p.s.s. giving away a copy of my upcoming LOST AND FOUND SISTERS to a random commenter!

101 Comments on “The One With The Piglet

  1. I like the fact that the pig was marked a lot like your sweet Ashes. Alpha Man has apparently dealt with the “It followed me home, can I keep it?” more than once. At least it wasn’t bear!

  2. Wow! It must be that dark star that you born under….avoid coffee is the only advice I can offer.

  3. ๐Ÿ˜† Jill – only you! You could probably write an entire book just based on your walks. Oh, and your trash friends. (not your trashy friends, which I’m sure you don’t have, but your “friends” who visit your trash on a regular basis) Keep the stories coming! :mrgreen:

  4. I met a pig named Kevin Bacon at work (pet supply store)a few years ago. I sent a picture to my husband. He replied NO. Nothing else.

  5. I must have missed this story before. What happened to the pig? I hope it found happiness. I love your adventures.

  6. Be glad one of your children didn’t bring home a piglet like one of my boss’s kids did. Her name is Sophie & she is now a house pig.

  7. Thanx for sharing….might be an old story for you but new for me! It is a rainy Monday & I am recouping from knee replacement surgery & I needed a laugh! :yahoo:

  8. Love your hubby’s greeting — “What the hell” — how many times have you heard that response to one of your adventures? ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Just wondering where she kept her pig. Did she have more than one? He’s kinda cute in a piggy way.

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