Yesterday I had a big marketing call with my publisher and there were a lot of people on the conference call including my editor and my agent. I told myself to be cool. I’d kicked Alpha Man upstairs because he has a tendency to forget when I’m on a call and then says inappropriate things because … well, because he’s Alpha Man. Youngest wasn’t home yet. All I had to do was mute the call while chewing my Cheetos. The dogs were sleeping at my feet looking like sweet angels so I let them stay. I was concentrating on following along with the presentation and speaking clearly and muting when I was chewing and … you see where this is going, right?
Frat Boy farted.
And did he do this when someone was talking? No. He did not. He did it during a rare lull.
And to think that I believed my biggest worry was the bag of Cheetos. That is my life, people. Cheetos and dog farts. It’s really very exciting and glamorous…