Conversations

Middle:
I’ll be in the library.

Me:
Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?

Middle:
Oh and I need twenty bucks.

Me:
Ah, there you are…

++++++++

Me:
So if I upgrade to U-verse I’ll get a faster internet?

AT&T:
Yes you will be paying for a faster internet.

Me:
Wait. I get that I’ll be paying for it, but will I actually GET it?

AT&T:
Yes. Soon as we put U-verse in your area.

Head thunk.

+++++++

Me:
I’m going to need you to relinquish your stash of M&Ms pronto.

Alpha Man:
You made me promise to never ever ever relinquish them into your possession.

Me:
It’s an emergency.

Alpha Man:
You said you’d say that, and I was to hold firm.

Me:
Hold firm and die.

Alpha Man:

Me:
WHAT? Just say it.

Alpha Man:
I can’t. Last time I asked if it was that time of month you put it on your blog and everyone thought I was a dumbass.

Me:
I wouldn’t read my blog tomorrow if I was you.

85 Comments on “Conversations

  1. I think it would be a real hoot to live with you…no wonder your books are so much fun.

    Ya’ll have a light-hearted weekend.

  2. Thank you Ms. Jill for the wonderful Friday laughs! Love you and your family convos!

  3. All conversations I, too, have had with my family. Good to know we are abnormal.

  4. Lmao.. your funny… I love to read your blog! Makes ne laugh when I’m having a bad day.. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. A few years ago when my husband was in the hospital I was having trouble with my internet connection with AT&T. I would call and call without any results. Finally I tried to get UVERSE just to get someone to look at it. The technician determined when they upgraded their systems it was no longer compatible with the wiring in my apartment building. So I tried to get a refund. The supervisor gave me two months credit but told me I should have cancelled it. Another head banging experience.

  6. Love your family interactions and Alpha Man might as well realize that he’s not gonna win. Just hand over the candy!

  7. Thanks for the laughs. I love your books and can always count on laugh-out-loud moments when I read them.

  8. Alpha Man is adorable! Love these silly conversational glimpses into your life. No wonder your books are filled with such warmth and humor.

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